Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Praise God and pass the pizza!!! My test isn't this Saturday. More time to study and kick some serious hiney when I do take the test. That my friends is a God thing. LOL I started crying this evening when I was studying. It's all so overwhelming and it got to me. I couldn't help it. I chatted with Nell a bit this evening and she helped me out....doesn't she always? :) I got an email tonight that was a blessing and encouragement for me. It said "Jesus said that if we have faith as small as a mustard seed...we can move mountains". This came from someone who knows nothing of the stress about this test. I needed to hear that. I know I will pass this. I know the material and what I don't know or remember...I will be able to study this coming week. I just need to get the faith thing kicked into gear. Everyone else has faith in me...now I need to have it. If I don't...I'm dead in the water with this. Failing is not an option.
It has been such a long day!!! Went to bed at my typical time and I'm finding that I can't do that and try to stay awake in class. Good grief....old people were not meant to be in school. The test is going to be this Saturday and if I don't pass it I will scream!!! I have found out that we can miss 64 out of the 170 questions and still pass but that just won't be good enough for me in my mind. My boss has total faith in me so it's a good thing one of us does. I'm just too hard on myself when it comes to things like this. We were given a CD today with a practice exam on it. Once my babies are in bed....I'm examin'. This test is important to me. In more ways than one.
K's room is looking gorgeous!!! I've decided to finish up the painting next weekend but I won't put up the decorations. That is going to be done while she is at her dad's house the following weekend. I want to completely surprise her when she comes home. The part I'm really looking forward to seeing is the chandelier. At $130 for a lighting fixture and the Swarovski crystals in it...it is going to the best part of the room. I know I spent way too much on her room. I'm thinking close to $350 and then add what my brother spend on stuff for her...we are looking at close to $700. As far as I'm concerned...she is worth every penny. Things haven't been all that great for us since 2001. All 3 of us deserve the best. J's room only needs curtains and some Dis*ey stencils painted on and hers is done. Paint, put up some pretty lights and flowers will complete my room. A friend of mine may end up giving me her canopy bed so that is going to really make my room gorgeous.
Ya know...I never had things like I do now when I lived in Everett or Wenatchee. I fully believe that God is bringing happiness into my life and allowing me some peace and beauty. I think that I deserve it...after all of the ugly. :)


Ok...I made a mistake. Not a huge one but one nonetheless. I was so ticked at Kim and poor treatement of me and my children that I wrote a scathing...although very truthful...post in my lovinstitch blog. Was writing it a mistake? No. It helped me vent and release some of the anger I had. Was it a mistake not deleting it? Absolutely. Not because Kim read it but because it was something very blunt and brutally honest. Something that shouldn't have been posted. Period. Will I make excuses for what I did? No. I'm better than that. I made a mistake. I'm human. I received a threatening email from Kim last night and an email from her fiance telling me I was a piece of sh*t among other expletives. He also called my cell and left a trash mouthed voicemail. I really didn't expect much less from all of it. I'm not perfect. I made a mistake. I have fixed the mistake and in all honesty....I should have deleted lovinstitch a long time ago. I just didn't want to let it go. I believe last night was God's way of saying "Ok Tracey. It's time for you to say goodbye". My faith was thrown in my face last night. Again...I didn't expect anything else from them. Last time I heard....Jesus had it thrown in his face also. Same with the diciples and ever Christian since then. I'm ok. I finally faced God last night and asked for His guidance in my life. Without Him...I am nothing. :)


Well seems some people have no lives and have to read about mine....even though they hate me with a passion and want nothing to do with me as a person. I had made the decision to delete my phantom blog and realize now that I was foolish in doing so. If they have nothing better in their lives to do than read about me and it brightens up their otherwise pathetic and dreary existence, who am I to take that away from them? I apparently need to be the center of their universe. So...that would be the reason the Phantom isn't on here right now. But...he will be back. Guaranteed. :) I won't allow some petty opinions of me...which by the way don't mean squat to me...ruin what I have. :)