Friday, March 31, 2006

This evening was a total surprise. Margaret called and said she was hungry and wanted dinner. I was like...well eat you dork. She said...well lets go get a burger or a sandwich. I had no idea she was already in town. :) She came over and gave me some birthday presents...of which I was not expecting any. You can say I was beyond surprised with what she gave me. She made me a really cool pink scarf, gave me some pretty candles and some other things she made. The most surprising gift? A pink leather coat. Hello!!! It's gorgeous and so me. LOL It fits just like a glove and is perfect.
Margaret and I have been friends for close to 25 years. We were roommates for a brief period of time. I can honestly say that she is someone I would trust my kids lives with. There are not many people I can say that about. The select few would be Tina, Margaret, Sabrina, Debbie and Robert. They say you can count on one hand how many people in your life you can completely and totally rely upon. Looks like I just named them. I love my friends...:)
Tomorrow we are going out to dinner and dancing. You can safely say I will be looking Pretty in Pink. :)

Thursday, March 30, 2006

It has been a wonderful evening!!! The girls had their singing lessons and we came home and had our "traditional Thursday" dinner of grilled cheese and tomato soup. Now who wouldn't like that anyway? :) As thrilling and wonderful at that gets better. :) I checked my email and there was something from the RUG. That would be the official POTO website. Seems that they are going to be putting POTO on in Vegas starting in June. Upon reading that...the wheels and cranks started turning and I got on the phone with Sabrina. After some discussion...WE ARE GOING TO VEGAS IN AUGUST!!! Bean and I haven't taken a road trip in years so we are most definately due for one. Her daughter is getting married the first week of August so as a "whew it's over" thing for Bean...we are heading to Vegas to see POTO. With the email they included a promotional code for we can get good seats at a discounted price.
Another wonderful thing happened tonight but I'm not gonna share it yet. I know hate it when I do that. Email me at work and I'll share...LOL If anyone else wants to know...just comment or email me and I'll let you know. I just don't want to put it on here until I know for sure what is happening. It's a good thing though. I promise.
WOW!!! It just started pouring!!! Welcome to Spring. Ok...beddy bye time for me. Night!!! :)
I'm listening to my POTO soundtrack and I've been thinking about the music. Not just the story but the music. It's strange but it's like it becomes a part of who you are. I know that may not make sense to someone who doesn't appreciate music or just hasn't really gotten into POTO's music. I've found it has become such a part of my life that I can't imagine a day without it being in the background somewhere.
I still find I can associate my life with Erik's life. a point. I'm not a murdering mad woman. :) His desire to be loved for who he is and not what he looks like was such a part of him. Christine had a line in the movie "This haunted face holds no horror for me now. It's in your soul that the true distortion lies" That one line sums up everything for Erik. Pretty close to the same with me. I feel that my soul is where I'm damaged. I can put on a pretty face and be everything everyone wants me to be. I'm good at that. I know...I'm doing some serious analyzing of myself. I can't be a full person unless I do that though. I won't go through my life half-assed and not be able to live it to the fullest. I know that there are people out there who are content with living life that way. I would not be one of them. I have done that in my past and I've been miserable and my relationships have failed because of it.
I need to continue becoming a better me. I'm a great person, mom, friend. I just want to continue building on that. :)

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Happiness is eluding me. I should be on cloud 9 right now and I can't get there. The little dude is dying. :( The little dude would be K's teddy bear hamster. I was holding him the other day and noticed what I thought to be food in his cheek pouch. Upon closer wasn't food. It looks like a tumor of some kind. It doesn't look like he is in pain or suffering though. He does his normal things he has always done. He just sleeps a lot. When he wakes up his eye is sealed shut with some sort of goopy stuff. K and I will clean him with a warm damp washcloth and love on him for a bit. can love on a hamster. At least this one you can. His name is Raisin and he is the coolest hamster ever. He has never bitten anyone except some bonehead who was told not to startle him or he might bite. Well...this bonehead didn't listen and he got a nice healthy chomp from the little dude.
Anyway...Raisin is awesome. He has been an escape artist a couple of times but we have always found him. Once it was in a wall but being the master carpenter I that with sarcasm...I got him out of the wall. I'm seriously bummin' over this. I love that little dude. K got him over 2 years ago and all of us have bonded...if you can bond with a hamster. LOL
We have a fish K got a month before I met Darren and if you remember when that after Thanksgiving 2002. Hello!!! How long do betta's live??? It's going to be a sad day when he dies also. He is like a dog when it's feeding time. When he sees me coming to his bowl he wags his tail. I kid you not...he gets all excited. Believe it or not...he used to let Darren pet him. He is a strange fish. His name is Chuck. That would be a name chosen by Darren. LOL Poor fish was a nameless schmuck for over a month.
Gosh life is going to be weird when Raisin dies. He has been such a part of our lives for what seems like forever. This is going to suck...plain and simple.
Crap!!!!!!! I got the totally wrong CD today for a single woman. I got Harry Con*ick Jr. For the love of pete that man can sing. I will listen to it this once and I think it needs to be saved for when I get a boyfriend. It may be awhile before this CD is listened to again. LOL This is one most definately best listened to at night, with a glass of wine and a gorgeous man beside me. *sigh* One day...:)
I'm too picky...that is my problem. But the way I see it...why settle for second rate? I want someone I am attracted to mentally, emotionally and physically. I fully believe that if one or two of those are missing...the relationship will falter. No doubt in my mind.
There are some definate prospects but I'm not jumping the gun (or into bed) with any of them. I respect myself too much to do either of those. :)
I went and looked at another house today. It was cute and had definate potential. It would take some work to get it totally updated but once that was done....very nice. I have yet to go inside though. I did like the yard and area it is in. Lots of room for my kids to play and just be kids without trash mouthed neighbors and gossip. Hey what a concept!!! Letting a kid be a kid. Gotta love it. We will see what the inside looks like and I'll take it from there. It's fun going out and looking for something though. Scary though doing it as a single and not a married. But hey...if I can survive the garbage I've gone through in my life...I can definately handle this.
I'm done chasing IP addresses. I have realized it's not worth it anymore. If Kim has no life and needs to maintain some semblance of contact with me...let her. It has become clear to me that she is still reading this but using Laine to get to me. I don't really think Laine visits my blog multiple times a day. LOL
In all honesty...I don't care who reads this anymore. My friends read it to keep up with me and my life. My enemies read it for what they say is "to get a good laugh". I find that difficult to believe. What I believe it is...they are nosy and can't live their own lives without me being part of it. Interesting since they are the ones who ended the friendships to begin with. I must have made some lasting impression on them for them to continually seek me out in whatever way they can.
So...IP chasing is done and IP banning is done. I won't sink to their level anymore and will maintain my dignity and pride. I'm better than they are and I will hold my head high for taking the higher road. :)
Are ya proud of me, Bean? It was an ephiany this morning...LOL

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

I completely totally and utterly love photobucket. :) I present another very cool find...
Well I was right...I was worrying over nothing. I drove by the house yesterday. Can we all say EWWWWWW!!! I sat behind an ugly old single wide trailer AND shared a driveway with a machine shop. I don't think so!!! There was another house near there so I checked it out. Ok folks...I'm sorry but I do not want a hot water heater AND a washer/dryer in my bedroom. Just not my idea of sanctuary. So I've been doing more looking and found a few other houses I'm going to look at and see where the washer and dryer sit in the house. :) If they aren't in the bedroom...we are ahead of the game.

Monday, March 27, 2006

WHEEEEE!!!! I got a whole bunch of free CD's that I had ordered a few weeks ago. I am totally overdosing on nostalgia. LOL I got the soundtrack for Purple Rain!!! But the best of all...Duran Duran's Greatest Hits. I so totally and completely loved them when I was in high school. :) I did go crazy and ordered Slaughters Greatest Hits also. Yes...they had a lot of them. LOL Bon Jovi's Greatest Hits was in the mix along with the Pure Country soundtrack. And the final CD....Rick Springfields Greatest Hits. I'm seeing a trend with what I ordered. LOL What the heck...they were free!!! For now...I'm a reminicing crazy girl. Gosh I loved the 80's and early 90's. LOL
NEW VIDEO!!! :) I'm a likin' this one...the first song is sung by Gerry. It is on the 2nd DVD from the special edition set but it's not in the movie. I've tried figuring out where they were thinking about putting it in the movie and it just doesn't fit anywhere. Had they put the song definately would have given the Phantom a bit more of a human characteristic...not just a murdering mad man.
The second song I'm sure you have heard during the ending credits. It was sung by Minnie Driver...who played Carlotta. A bit of trivia...Minnie did not sing her parts in the movie. She can sing but not full on Bel Canto opera. She did a good job on "Learn to be Lonely" though.
I know...I'm a full fledged Phantom Phan. It's not a bad obsession...better than what some people have.
I don't like Monday's. I think that all Monday's should be banned. I have found that there is nothing good that happens on Monday's.
I did find another house that I plan on driving by after work. It's not large by any stretch of the imagination has almost 1 1/2 acres of land that it's on. This means I could add on to it in a couple of years. Question is...can the girls and I live with a small house for 2 years?
It has 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. That 1 bathroom thing would have to change before they become teenagers. Guaranteed!!! I'm thinking a really nice master suite with a cool master bath added on. Ya gotta look outside of the box when considering these things. :)
With that much land K could have her critters, we could have a garden and a nice deck to grill and enjoy the solitude (a word from POTO thank you very much...sorry but I had to throw it in...LOL). The place has some serious potential. It's just a matter of living very cozy for awhile. The girls would have to share a bedroom and after finishing up K's room...I would feel horrible about it.
Anyway...I'll know more after I drive by it today. I may be worrying over nothing. LOL
OMGosh...I love surfing the net. I found this interview from the J. Len* show and guess who it is??? Yep...THE MAN!!! Talk about putting a grin on my face. Gosh that man is beautiful. have to watch it at home...ya need speakers. LOL

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Ok....I was sent this through myspace. You have got to do it. It's hilarious. My life theme song is One More Night by Phil Collins. Does it fit me? I'm not sure. After really reading the almost fits. So what is your life theme song?
Things just get more and more pathetic and almost comical as the days go by. We all know the situation with Kim. We all know that the friendship has ended. Well I do and all of you do...I don't think Kim or her family have gotten the memo. Case in point...tonight while I was grilling dinner...Kim's boyfriends daughter and Kim's next door neighbors kid were walking near my house. Now remember...I am 4 blocks away in the BACK of the park...there isn't an entrance back here and no reason for those girls to be around. There are just a bunch of houses and no other kids to play with. Both girls stood at the end of my street staring at my house. Then they went and stood beside a bush. Here is the funny part...they hid behind the bush and would peek out towards my house. When they saw that there wasn't anyone on the porch...or so they thought, I have lattice on the lower part of the porch so you can see out but you really can't see anyone sitting on the porch. Once they saw no one was there...they peeked up from the bush and then walked away. This whole thing is just getting to be ridiculous. How immature can these people be? Let it go for the love of Pete.
So with that said...can you blame me for wanting to move and move as soon as I possibly can? Good grief. I totally feel in my heart that God is setting in motion a way for me to get away from these people. He knows that they are not what my children or I need in our lives. Nothing good will come of me living here and near them. I know I will be able to move. God will provide a way for that to happen and He will provide the perfect place for me to raise my children. I need to be patient and wait on Him. Seeing how patience is not one of my better virtues...I'm struggling with that one. LOL But...good things come to those who wait. Patience Tracey...remember patience. :)

Saturday, March 25, 2006

It has been a fantastic day!!! I shall tell you why...ready? First...went to the landfill and got rid of 160 pounds of crap. Exciting huh? Ok...not really but it gets better. Took a drive around the valley looking at houses and what is on the market, went out for lunch, got my hair cut and looks great!!! I forgot how good my hair can look when it's layered. LOL I'll post pics from my birthday get together which is next weekend. :) Did some more driving looking at houses, found one and looked at it...I shudder to think that they are selling the piece of crap and for $70,500!!! It was horrible!!! I stopped at my boss' house and visited with him and his wife for awhile. Here is where the really cool part comes in. I went to Saf*way for some groceries. They were having a Grand Re-opening and the sales were great. I got over $30 in groceries for $16. I like those kind of sales. Anyway...while the checker was scanning my stuff he looked at me smiling and said "You just won a DVD player". HUH??? Are you serious? Yep. They were randomly giving out DVD players to customers who were checking out. So...I got some great stuff for dinner AND a DVD player...for only $16. It has been a great day. :) Now J and I are watching Veggietales. I love those shows. Crack me up. :) I shall sleep well tonight.
I've been told that ignorance is bliss. If this is true...there are a few people I know who much be ecstatic!!! Good do they get through their lives? *rolling my eyes* Tigger commented as to the "friends" I have who seem to need to read my blog...she said they must be masochistic. I have to agree with her. LOL I know if someone were saying things about how pissed they are at me...I certainly wouldn't want to know. Sabrina said "That is someone who only thinks of themselves." She used another 2 what were they? Oh yeah...SELF ABSORBED!!!
I mentioned in my venting blog that I need to move. It's becoming more and more evident that I need to get out of here. Yesterday a friend of whats her names drove by my place. Considering I'm WAY out of the way and in the back of the park I live in and K is in the front...there was no reason for her to be back here. I have a gut feeling that when I do move...Kim is going to do everything she can to find me. I wonder why she is so fascinated by me and what I'm doing? It's plain she hates me. So my suggestion would be...get a life!!! Because she certainly won't ever be a part of mine again.
Like I said...I need to move and get completely away from her. As long as I live this close to where she is...I won't be able to forget how horrible she was to me.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Things just keep looking up. I spoke with one of our clients today and there is a definate possiblity I will be doing some work for her. It won't pay a ton but it would be something I enjoy doing and depending on how much work I actually do...the $$$ will just add up. This is just too cool!!! A raise next month AND some side work. Isn't God good? :) I do believe it's time.
Actually it's time for a lot of things. One being...I'm cutting my hair. It's driving me nuts and it's just too long. Well that and it's getting out of hand and ugly looking. I certainly don't want to be ugly looking. :) I wanna be perty...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

You know what is really funny and quite possibly the most pathetic thing I have seen in a very long time? The statistics I get regarding this blog. You see...I have it set up to tell me how many people visit my blog, what date, time and now many times they visit. It also tells me the IP address and ISP. The funny part...the one person who hates me more than anyone on this planet has visited my blog TWICE tonight in a 1/2 hour time span. I love being the center of someone's universe. It's almost unnerving but yet flattering at the same time. If only that person was Gerard Butler. He is someone who matters. :) Now for the really cool part of my statistic tool...I can ban IP addresses. I guess I will find out tomorrow if it actually works. :) Sometimes I just amaze myself...LOL If Ronna has been reading...I'll be able to ban her also. I love internet tools. They can serve a very nice purpose sometimes.
Chatted with a couple of friends tonight and so far there are going to be at least 10 of us going out for my birthday. Dinner, dancing and heaven forbid...a couple of the girls want to do karaoke. I shall pass on the singing but I can't wait to go dancing. I haven't gone out since the week before Thanksgiving of last year. I'm about due for an adult night. When all of us get never know what is going to happen. It's so cool still being friends with people you went to high school with. We are older but we are still the silly goof ball kids we were 20 years ago. Well you too Bean. Then again...Sabrina is the quiet one out of the two of us. We may be mirror images of each other but she is the more most instances. LOL Right Sabrina?
BTW Sabrina...I moved my venting blog. Seems that someone just can't seem to stay away from needing to know what is going on in my life. I'll email the link to you. Good grief...
I'm a makin' some changes in my life. :) Actually it's God making the changes. He is bringing people into my life who can be of great assistance to me. You know the saying..."It's not what you's who you know"? Well that is what I am most definately finding out. :) Things are looking up. It will take some time but I see a way out of the garbage and turmoil which seems to plague me where I am right now. Cool huh? :)

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

I have created a new blog. It won't be posted in daily. It will just be a place where I vent. I refuse to tarnish and muddle up this blog with ugliness from other peoples interferrence in my life. It will contain basically things which will help me heal from hurts that have been caused to me by others and from myself. I think it will be a good thing.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

I heard the following song on the radio just as I got home. I find that most of the lyrics fit when it comes to some people who have been in my life. I know that I must let the pain of what they have done to me go but that is something which will come in time. Like the old saying goes...Time heals all wounds. For some wounds...they run deep and I don't believe they will ever fully heal. are some of the words...

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt

Because of you I find it hard to trust Not only me, but everyone around me

Because of you I am afraid

You never thought of anyone else You just saw your pain

Because of you I never stray too far from the sidewalk

Because of you I learned to play on the safe side So I don't get hurt

Because of you I tried my hardest just to forget everything

Because of you I don't know how to let anyone else in

Remember my dating question a few weeks ago? Well I was thinking today and I don't want to be someone who goes out with a guy just for the free dinner. I want to be totally interested in him...which I was not for the $60 Outb*ck fiasco. I was talked into going out by the person who is dating him now. *rolling my eyes* I've done the dating just to go out for dinner and have some fun. I want more than that. I've realized I want someone who is willing to accept me for who I am and as sad as this sounds...who is willing to spend money on me. My last relationship...we all know how that went...was with a self proclaimed cheapskate. Ask him...he will tell you. LOL I'm sorry but spending $60 on me is not enough to get my attention much less get me into bed. If a man wants me...he is going to have to work for it. I will not be a $60 whore. :) I'm more expensive than that. LOL Am I going to end up alone? Maybe. But why would I settle for processed cheese when I can hold out for the Brie? Hmmm....answer me that. ;)

Monday, March 20, 2006

Notice a difference in my template? LOL It's amazing what you can find when you surf the net. I found my favorite part of POTO on video!!! This is where I do believe Mr. Butler is at his sexiest. :) Yummy....
Anyway....I'll keep this on for awhile until I find something else out on the wonderful world wide web. :)
Think I would forget? ;) NOPE!!! I really really like this one. :)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Ok...I've been bored and I have been playing around with a stupid website and not sure why I'm doing it but...check this out and tell me what you think. LOL
Well...I'm feeling a bit better. Not 100% but better than what I was. Benadryl is a nice thing when you need to sleep. I can actually taste food now!!! I had some teriyaki chicken and gyoza for dinner last night. Typically I devour that stuff. Last night it tasted horrible!!! Considering it's my favorite dinner...I was not happy. Today breakfast is Vanilla Yogurt Burst Cheerios. I have to say...they are mighty tasty. Definately recommend them. :)
I chatted with a good friend of mine last night and she educated me that I'm going out for my if's and's or but's. She has invited quite a few friends to go out with us for dinner, drinks and dancing. Since I have been told I have no choice in this I did a little inviting myself. I've been emailing, talking to and chatting with someone in Montana for over a year now. Our calendars have never been able to match up where we could get together and meet. Last night I emailed him inviting him over for my birthday. He said YES!!! I'm not getting my hopes up too high but it would be totally cool to see him...finally. If he can't make it...I still have all of my friends to go out with. :) Next year is the big 40. Eeekkkkk!!!!!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Well it's Saturday and you will be happy to know...I passed one portion of my stupid exam. The other 1/2...missed it by one. I am less than pleased but seeing how I am still miserably sick...I did pretty well. Only thing to complain about is having to pay AGAIN to take the stupid thing. Only have to pay $55 this time instead of $70 like the last 2 times. Good's a good thing I'm getting a raise after this. These stupid allergies are just killing me!!!
I had to cancel my dinner "date" and I was not happy about that. I so wanted to see him. He understood though and hopefully we can get together in a couple of weeks. Life has been quite frankly...boring. LOL I like it. :) No guy problems, no phoney friend problems, no money's nice.
I did see Troy yesterday. Saw him at Wally World. We chatted for awhile and he said he would call but I know better. He has a tendency to be a recluse and will only call if someone leaves him a message on his machine. It's ok though. I'm sure we will always be good friends. I have no problem with that at all. :) I did give him grief about how cheap he was when we were dating....LOL He fully agreed he was a cheapskate...but then again...we were only 18 years old. Seems like a lifetime ago. Oh was!!! He is still as cute as ever. ;)

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

I should have died last night. Today I woke up feeling like I had been drug through a knot hole backwards. Bean suggested trying Nasonex. I will definately hit Walmart tomorrow and pick some up. I didn't go to work today so you know I was feeling beyond bad. I hate missing work. Since I work part time...I need all the hours I can get. Off to the couch I go. I will let you know how the Nasonex works. Like you will be sitting on the edge of your seats right? LOL

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

When you are sick...death almost seems a nicer option. Good grief I hate allergies!!! It started this morning with a sore throat and has worked it's way to being a stuffy nose, body aches, sneezing and in general...complete *itchiness. I love spring. I hate the allergies that come with it. I left work a bit early today just because of it. Tomorrow is going to suck. HUGE!!! I have tried most every OTC allergy medicine known to man. Nothing flipping works. Thank goodness for Vicks Mist or I wouldn't be breathing. Now I am going to be completely worthless for at least a week. Does not make me happy since I'm having dinner with a friend on Thursday and my retake is on Saturday. Sleep...must go get some sleep. Anyone have suggestions for me? I'm open to just about anything at this point. *sneeze*
Yep...been playing with the template again. I really like Photobucket. LOL
Looks like allergy season has decided to begin. I'm all stuffy and have a sore throat. I love spring but I hate my allergies. I do have a ton of meds at home so I need to get better. A friend from Bellevue is going to be in town this week and he is taking me and the girls out for dinner.'s not a date. He is just a friend. I haven't seen him in almost 3 years so we need to play catch up. I have the major moving bug.
I want to move so badly I can almost taste it. I don't care where I move. I just want out of the freaking park I live in. Just too blasted close to someone I care to not see or even be in the same vicinity with. Daily I have to drive by her house and I'm reminded of just how foolish I was and how badly she used me. I know...something I need to get past and I will. Being that close to her keeps everything fresh in my mind. Besides...I don't want my kids near hers if at all possible. Poor J goes to school with both of them and deals with their crap at least once a week at the school and almost daily at the bus stop. At some point I will be able to move...unless she does first. She was saying she would be moving after school gets out for the summer. Pray that she does. Would make mine and my kids life much nicer. house is starting to look great. I really don't want to start over and in a stupid apartment. :)
Time to do more studying...woo hoo!!!! *yawn*

Monday, March 13, 2006

Robert sent me a game today. You have got to check this out. Some people have way too much time on their hands to create these things. LOL
Photo of the whenever I feel the urge...;)

Sunday, March 12, 2006

I'm glad the weekend is over but yet I'm not. K's room is pretty much done. Just a couple of things to touch up and buy. It's gorgeous!!! I shall post pictures when I am totally done. I'm flat out exhausted tonight. Last night I slept 10 hours straight without even waking up during the night. Totally unlike me.
I'm becoming a "sleep-eater"...meaning I will get up in the middle of the night and have some cookies and milk. If I keep doing that...I'm going to gain weight. I need to stop. LOL I like where I'm at size wise. I do not want to look like a big fat cow. I've been there before and do not want to go there again.
I'm going to get my kids in bed within the next 15 minutes and then I'm doing nothing for the rest of the night. After the weekend I just had....I need some rest. So....POTO or The Passion? Which do I choose...?

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Let's all breathe a collective sigh of relief. The test is over. Now let's stress about taking it again. I didn't pass it. I didn't even fail miserably. One part..missed by 2. The second part...missed by 3. So...I get the joy of taking it again next weekend. I did ask the assistant how many times people take it before they pass. She said on an average it's three times. I will not be average. Now that I know some of the questions have answers where all of the choices are correct but they are looking for the best answer. So frustrating.
For the person who is laughing at this and you know who you least I have a job I can return to whether I pass this test or not. As for my friends...thank you for your well wishes and prayers. Just keep them coming for next weekend. LOL Come hell or high water...I'll pass it.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Ya gotta love it...:)

I don't hate but it seems to fit...

But I really like this one...
Yes...I'm bored. LOL
I get a free night tonight!!! I can't even remember when I had one of those. K is with her dad this weekend and J is going to Debbie's. Not sure what I will do but I know it will be nice to just have some peace and quiet for a little while. Don't get me wrong...I love my girls but there are times when it's nice to just be me. Glass of wine and POTO. Perfect.
I received a nice card today from a friend of mine who I met at church. She wanted to let me know that she is praying for me and that God will help me to remember everything I studied. She went on to say that my Daddy has my back and He will take care of me and cares about every detail that concerns me. She is such an awesome person!!! I'm feeling a bit better and a little more relaxed. I'm leaving it all in God's hands. He gave me this job...He will help me pass this test. :)

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I really don't know what to think of today. On one hand...I'm feeling a bit better and not so apprehensive about the test. On the other hand...I spoke with my mom today and found out one of my uncles is in the hospital and it doesn't look like he will be with us much longer. I haven't seen him in quite awhile but it still takes my breath away. He is my mom's brother and she said that the last time he was in the hospital he said "I just want to die". From the sounds of it he is tired and just wants to go home. Home = heaven. Mom said that she and two of her sisters will be going to see him this week and she will let me know how he is doing and if he passes away. At this point I'm not sure if I will go down for the funeral if he does. Does that sound horrible? We weren't close but he is still family. As you all is everything to me. I'll discuss it with my mom and see what she thinks I should do.
I hate death. I know it's part of life but the finality of it all...just difficult for me to deal with. My grandpa died when I was 16 years old. I did not go to his funeral. To this day I completely regret it. I did not get to say goodbye and even though I know he is gone...I still expect to see him when I'm in CA. Strange...I know but I still miss him. After 20 years....I still want to make my grandpa proud of me.
***I love you grandpa and I miss you***
I am good!!! I went to Ma*y's last night. Talk about a wonderful experience. LOL I bought $322 worth of clothes for only $46. I love that kind of sale. :) The sale lasts until the 15th so I will definately have to go back. When I can get a pair of $89 jeans for $'s a "must go back and see what else they have" type of thing.
I have found the coolest place for photos. See? I can find anything I want on POTO, Gerry or whatever else strikes my fancy. Like this one... Neat huh? Yes...I'm bored. LOL
I have a dear friend who just so happens to be a guy. I know...shocking isn't it? LOL Anyway...he is the kind of man every woman would want in her life. Kind, caring, compassionate, sympathetic, romantic, a true know the kind of man I'm talking about only he isn't gay. :) For the past year we chat off and on and exchange emails and there have been times when he has mentioned us getting together as a couple. I've always avoided it. The reason? He slept with the one person I want nothing to do with. The thought just physically makes me sick to my stomach. I can't get past it. Even though he is a good man and would be amazing to me and my kids...the thought of him ever having had s*x with that woman just repulses me. makes him sick to his stomach that he did also but I digress. Is it ever possible to get past those thoughts? I don't know.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

I have decided to post a picture of the week...or whenever I feel the urge. It's my blog so I can do what I want. :) The following is the first...yes, it's POTO. Would you expect anything less? LOL

I have 2 more days. Two days to study and stress about this stupid exam. Everyone has complete faith that I will pass. Everyone but me. There is a lot riding on this stupid exam. One...I will be able to do more for my boss. Two...I get a nice healthy raise after I get my license. That is just for starters. The whole thing has me all wigged out. One of the other assistants gave me some pointers and she said if I do that I will be fine. Well that and pray before I go inside the building. I need God's peace for this.
BTW...where did Spring go? It's cold out and snow is in the forecast. I am less than pleased. LOL I want to start planting and getting my yard all pretty. I bought a gorgeous gazebo and I want to get it set up. I found a catalog with some really reasonable prices in it for seeds and plants. I like reasonable prices. So come payday...I'm a flower ordering genius. Think I was going to say I'm a fool? Heck no...a fool would pay stupidly high prices. I won't do that. Just call me thrifty. :)
I would love to move out of this place!!! Not so much my home because it's starting to look nice but out of the park I'm in. The only nice people I've come across are the elderly neighbors. J's friends mom and dad are cool though. I really want to move. I know there are jerks everywhere but to have a lot of them concentrated in one spot? Don't like it. My prayer has been for God to bring the opportunity along that will allow us to move. It doesn't even have to be out of this town...although that would be nice. As long as I'm this close to a certain someone...I know that the tensions will always be there. Especially with the kids being at the bus stop together. It never ends and it's getting old. We just need to get away from her and all that involves her. One's all in God's hands.
I did have an interesting chat on IM last night. As to whether all of it is true...that I'm not too sure of. A good portion of it though...confirmation of everything I believed to be true. Even though I should have ignored the curiosity got the better of me as to what he wanted. Well I found out and it just made me even more relieved that things turned out the way they did. Well...time to get my butt in gear. It's a work day ya know....;)

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

LOL..I crack myself up. Correction to the date post. It wasn't Appl*bee's. It was Outb*ck. Shows how memorable that date really was, huh? *giggle*
I have the most wonderful friends. I can always depend on them for pretty much anything. I need someone on Friday night to watch J for me. I'm taking my exam oh ugly early Saturday morning. My friend Debbie was more than happy to take J for the night. Her daughter loves J.
Interesting as this may seem and quite possibly odd...Darren and I are turning out to be friends. We discuss the dating scene, our plans for the summer, music, the band, my girls. It's nice. Pretty much what we did when we first met. Don't worry...I have no romantic feelings toward him. Everything is in perspective. Darren and I both know we fouled things up between us but we have learned from our mistakes and know what not to do with the next relationship. :) See? Some good did come from the bad.
Ok...this has been nagging at the back of my mind and I need some input. Here is the scenario:
You go out on a date with someone you aren't even sure you wanted to go out with in the first place. Since you hadn't met this person you wanted to give it a chance so you suck it up and go out with them. You meet at Appl*bee's for dinner. It's a pleasant dinner with decent conversation. Let's say your date spends $60 for dinner. Easy to do at the above said restaurant. Your date walks you to your car, pleasantries are exchanged and you say you will talk to him later...which by the way you do but realize the chemistry/attraction is just not there.
Now for the question. Because said date spent $60 on dinner for the BOTH of you...are you obligated to go out with them again or take them home with you on the first date? Please help me out with this one.
I need a notepad in every room around the house. I will get an idea on what I want to post here and then when I get the chance to I remember what I wanted to write? NO!!! That just makes me grrrrr....
My birthday is in 3 weeks. (The Phantom as a gift is all I ask.) Bean and I were talking about it and she mentioned that I need to have a 40th birthday party. I told her I won't be turning 40. I will be 39 on a permanent basis. The number 40 just scares the heck out of me. No offense to those of you who are 40. ;) This year I may have some plans for my birthday which is pretty cool since I very seldom do anything for it. We shall see if it pans out or ends up dead in the water. If it dies...there is always Teriyaki chicken and gyoza. ;) As for my 40th...Bean is all excited about planning it...aren't ya, Beanie? :D

Monday, March 06, 2006

I found this and couldn't get it on my blog so I just put it in a post. How can you not love this man??? LOL

I got an email today from my oldest, bestest and dearest friend today. Here is what part of it said: Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in your heart. If someone betrays you once, it is his fault; If he betrays you twice, it is your fault. That my friends sums up my life the past couple of months. How does my friend do this? Beats me. He always knows when I need him and when I need some words of encouragement. I love that man. :)
Today was a Monday. I truly hate Monday's. K called me from school today. Had to pick her up early. Poor kid wasn't feeling well. She seems to be much better now. Thank God for that. J has the sniffles so she is taking some meds.
I finally got my duvet cover that I paid for a month ago!!! Took filing a dispute through Payp*l to get it. I was flat out pissed at the seller. Sending emails and getting no response is not cool. I am happy with the cover though. It's gorgeous!!! Red velvet with very intricate and beautiful embroidery on it. Will look amazing in K's bedroom. It was worth the wait and frustration. I want to leave negative feedback or just let it go? Hmmmm.....

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Well I'm almost done with the painting. :) I have one more coat to do on the walls and a coat or two on the dresser. The closet does need to be finished up but that will happen next week...since our wonderful state decided to send my child support for J to her fathers ex wife. So...the woman got WAY more than she should have this month. I was less than pleased. Think she would be decent enough to let me know? Nah. But then again...didn't really expect anything nice from her anyway. J's father did send in an extra payment to support enforcement so I should be getting the money in a few days. There are days I just hate our state's system.
So...once I get some money I will be getting the quart of black paint I need to finish the closet. By next Sunday K's room will be done. :) Decorations, bed, paint, lighting...all of it. I'm excited to see how it will look. I'll post some pics once it's done. The before and after shots. The next project? My room. Thank heaven that only needs paint. Life is so calm and peaceful now. It's nice having my life back to it's normal routine.
There have been some scary medical things happen in my friends lives that have me worried but with God's grace...they will be strong and pull through all of it. Oh who am I kidding? Both of these friends are unbelievably strong women and I am blessed to have them as friends and they allow me to be part of their lives. God sometimes throws curves into your life and even though we are angry at the situation....He always shows you the brighter side of the dark. I experienced that full force this past week. I may have been angry at the situation but I'm pleased at being reminded of what is honest and true. I really pray I don't need God's 2x4 again. That is really starting to hurt. LOL

Friday, March 03, 2006

Days are just not long enough. The kids are going to be home in 2 1/2 - 3 hours. Where did the day go? Where did my "be a slug" day go? Tomorrow I need to get off my butt and get K's room done. The painting part. That is the caca part of this job. Painting. friend Jamie came over last weekend and she is the godess of trim work. She did all of the precision, don't paint the ceiling painting. Makes the job so much easier. :) Ok...back to being a slug.
Life has a way of putting things into perspective. I've been putting up with some drama that I will admit some was self-imposed. Yesterday put everything back into perspective as to how trivial all of it was.
I received an email from a close and dear friend. She doesn't like to take things too seriously and will find a way to make light of a subject so people feel at ease. Well with this email I wanted to slap her with the lightness. Seems that she is having some problems with some dizziness and nausea. She has had one MRI and will be going in for a CT scan and another MRI today. She said she is thinking the worst and she has a tumor. How is that for making the garbage with Kim meaningless?
God has ways of getting your attention but I wish He hadn't chosen a good friend of mine to do it. :( Prayers....please send up lots and lots of prayers. Our friendship means a lot to me and I can't lose her. Neither can her kids and husband.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

It's over!!! Yes...the class I was taking is over. Today was the last day. The residuals are still around though. Ever get one of those pinchy things in your shoulder muscle? Well I have one on my right side that I can't get rid of to save my life. I need a massage. Badly!!! I am off work tomorrow and the stuff I ordered from ABC showed up today so guess what I'm doing? Decorating, painting, sanding, gazebo' long as it doesn't snow tonight.
I have to brag a little bit. I had found 2 really fantastic POTO masks on Eb*y and bid on them the minimum bid. Guess what? I won them. Now they aren't just POTO masks. They are from 1988 and authorized by The Really Useful Group....owners of the show. I know..doesn't mean much to you but believe is a wow thing. BTW....minimum bid I made was...99 cents. LOL How cool is that? They are made out of clay so they aren't cheap by any stretch. I'm jazzed about this one. Can you tell? Ok...I'm babbling. Time for me to go away for now. :)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Have you ever been totally exhausted and you know you need to go to bed and sleep but you just can't bring yourself to do it? I have. Ok...I'm at that point right now. I haven't even touched my books tonight. As mushed as my brain is now...what in the world would I retain? NOTHING!!! I now understand why my boss gave me Friday off. I would not be able to function in any capacity if I was there.
A 3 day weekend. Gosh..what shall I do with myself? Sleep in...first on the agenda. I may paint, sand furniture and put up the gazebo on Friday. I won't have kids around and I can get a lot done. It's amazing the things you can accomplish when you aren't hearing "MOM COME SEE THIS!!!" every 5 minutes.
My addiction is kicking in now...I need a glass of milk. I would eat a Hershey's kiss but after reading about Nell's experience...I'll pass for now. LOL Milk first....bed second. Read "Purpose Driven Life", pray, turn on POTO soundtrack, sleep. Great intinerary. Nighty...
So sleepy...I'm so glad that this week is almost over. It has been a very mentally/emotionally taxing and exhausting week for me. I cannot believe I'm going to say this...but I will be glad to go back to work. LOL This coming weekend is going to be my braindead weekend. Nothing too mentally challenging for me to do other than paint and clean house. After all of the thinking I have done this week...I need some down time. *sigh* Now it's off to enjoy a night of studying and the phantom. Think I would go a day without at least listening to it? Please...LOL
Just recently I've been told that what I write in here is humorous and hilarious. Considering that the last few posts were about the distress of my daughter...I can't even begin to comprehend the though processes behind that. *shudder* How people can think that children being hurt is funny is something I never want to understand or even begin to understand.
So with that said...I will not post about what is happening in that area of my life. I have my friends personal emails so I can discuss it with them privately. I don't need anyone getting pleasure from my family's pain. Especially when it involves a child. No my friends...this will be lighthearted but at times there may be something thrown in that matters deeply to me. Just expect emails...LOL