Tuesday, February 26, 2008

My executioners

Well...it's that time again. A mammogram and ultrasound. Much to my disappointment...the lump has grown. Stress has been a major factor in my life for the past 2 months. I couldn't find a foundation that pays for mammograms!!! Finally 2 weeks ago I was able to get ahold of a woman who heads up a foundation in Wenatchee. I set up an appointment which is this Friday. I'll be perfect honest...I'm terrified. I just do not have a good feeling about this one.

This all brings me to my title. Everytime I look in the mirror I see nothing more than my executioners. It's like they are mocking me. Taunting me...saying "We will kill you one day..." I contacted a friend of mine who has a charitable foundation and while swallowing my pride...I asked him for help. I don't have health insurance so having prophylactic surgery is not something I can even remotely budget for. He sent me an application last week. Seeing how I'm poorer than a church mouse...I have faith and do believe he will help me. Good grief...he spent $10,000 on me for a weekend in Vegas. I'm sure he will do this. Oh...in case you don't know what type of surgery I'm talking about...I am wanting to have my breasts removed and then reconstructed. It's more common than you would think. With having 3 strikes against me...my oncologist said it's a definate option for me. Nice huh? No insides and now no outsides. LOL At least I can have boobs that will be perkier and up where there are supposed to be after the surgery. ;)

So my friends...I'm in limbo at this moment in time. I will know more in the coming week. Once I do I will let ya'all know.