Tuesday, December 30, 2008
I sit down and order a drink...Pom Margarita in case you hadn't figured that out yet. All of a sudden, my friend's eyes get huge. I mean HUGE!!! She looks like she had seen a ghost and I thought she had seen a moron she has been kind of seeing since July and been trying to get rid of since August. Nope. I guessed wrong. It was "him". R. Not only was it R but his wife, her parents and his son. Oh you have got to be kidding me!!! Not only did she see them at a table but the table was kitty corner to ours. Lovely.
Despite the urge...I did not turn around. There was not going to be a chance I wanted to look that man in the face. Not after what he did to me. My poor friend had to look at them the whole time. What she told me just about knocked me off of my chair. The wife...who was the ex g/f at the time and lied like there was no tomorrow to get him back...was not quite what my friend had expected. Remember...I have not seen her other than one time when I was still dating R. My friend looked at me and said "She is HUGE!!!". I'm thinking...HUH??? When R got back with this woman he said that she was changing and becoming the woman he wants to be with and is losing weight. Hmmmm...interesting.
Strange as this may seem but there was tension in the air between the tables because even though I did not see them when I walked in...they saw me. Once I knew that they were right behind me...it was a bit uncomfortable. I carried on a conversation with my friend and did my best to ignore the discomfort. I went out to get away from the teen drama occuring at my house and walked right into something that could have been drama filled. I didn't feed into it though. My friend did tell me to look at the wife when they walked out. I did and you could have knocked me over with a feather. She isn't much taller than me but honest to goodness she is as wide as she is tall. I'm not kidding at all with this one. I may embellish sometimes but this time...nope. I am not one to make fun of people who are large. I used to be a large woman myself. No one is perfect and we all have our issues but WOW!!! Honest to goodness...I believe she has gained at least 75 pounds in the past year. I hate to say this but that made my night. Not only did they file for bankruptcy the day after they got married but she has gained a lot weight when she told him she would lose it. Hmmmm....and she doesn't lie? LOL
What does that little scene tell me? That God is watching out for me. He knows what is good for me and what isn't. Even though what R did and the game he played hurt me...it was all for the better. God knew that R wasn't the man for me. God knows better than I do. Sometimes that just bugs me to no end but when things happen like Saturday night...I can't help but thank Him. He stopped my heart from truly being broken and my life being destroyed. I may be alone but I'm alone and happy with my choices and who I am. Life lessons are meant for us to learn about what we want for our lives. They hurt and sometimes bite frozen bananas. In the end...the frozen banana is covered in chocolate and is yummy. :)
I do want to make something crystal clear though. I am in no means making fun of the wife. I won't sink to that level. It's now who I am. What I do want to point out is that Saturday was my full circle for that man. I never got the closure. He refused to ever speak to me once the g/f lied to him. There was no discussion about anything. It was hurtful and cruel. Finding out just what he has gotten into is what I believe to be his "what goes around...comes around". I received a scripture today that really brings this to light. "My experience shows that those who plant trouble and cultivate evil will harvest the same. Job 4:8". No person can treat another human the way he treated me without facing future issues and problems. It's in the Word. There is no avoiding it. I got my closure. I got my peace Saturday night. While it was interesting and did give me a giggle...it was what I needed to finally put that chapter of my life to rest. I no longer have to own it. :)
Monday, December 29, 2008
Noon - sun shining, blue sky, warming up, snow melting. Much better.
3pm - Snow!!!! Wind!!! Freaking cold!!! Snow is not supposed to fall sideways!!! Seriously...just 15 minutes ago the sky was clear and blue. Now? Flags outside of my window are holding on for dear life. Snow is falling SIDEWAYS!!! What in the bloody blazes is going on with this weather???
Look back at my previous post. See that beautiful hotel? See the palm trees? Only 94 days and I'll be there!!! It cannot come soon enough. Really...it can't.
UPDATE from when I posted just 2 minutes ago:
Snowing, gray sky, SUN SHINING!!!! I'll let you figure that one out.
Monday, December 22, 2008
It is December 22. Only the beginning of winter. I'm done with winter now. For the past 2 or 3 weeks we have been dealing with absolutely ridiculous temps. I believe it was last week we were -14 with the wind chill. Did you read that right??? NEGATIVE 14!!! That my friends is just not right. There is just no earthly reason why the temps need to get that low. I cannot for the life of me figure out the good things behind it. What was God thinking when He said "Let there be sub zero temperatures"? When I get to heaven I'm going to have a chat with Him about it.
Aside from the weather...all is well within my little home. It's just me and the critters until Thursday though. Kids are gone for a week. Kinda nice. Kinda lonely. I've been falling asleep in my recliner because I don't want to go to bed. How stupid is that? It's not like I've always had someone in my bed. For some odd reason though...since the kids have left...I don't like going to bed alone. Ok Stacey...analyze that one for me. ;)
I believe I have mentioned that the girls and I have to move. If I didn't....we have have to move. My parents are going to be filing bankruptcy (yes...that sucks) and they are filing on the house I'm living in. I'm not worried or concerned about the house. It's an old POS anyway. Not worth what they owe on it. I was worried about a place to live but found a duplex that I can move into. Not in the area I want to be in but still...it's a place to live. While chatting with a client today he said that he has some friends who have rentals in the area I DO want to be in. No commuting the kids to school!!! That would be a blessing!!! I'm not being forced out of where we are so I have a little bit of time. Besides...have I mentioned it's colder than a witches boobie in a brass bra on the shady side of an igloo? Not a chance I would be moving now anyway. We will see what Kelly comes up with. Kelly being the client. It's so nice knowing our clients are kind and caring people. :)
Well..if I don't post before Thursday...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
I won't get into it but if you watch this video you just might get the gist of it.
And with that...I am so done. Tired of the games, the leading on, and hurting my heart. It's insane and there is not one man on this planet who is worth all of that. I don't look for these guys. They find me. Well I'm hiding in my cave never to be seen in daylight again by someone who has a penis. This heart is now cold and shut solid.
PS...Love this song and it totally fits where I am at right now. Not a snowball's chance in hell will my mind be changed about any and all men...this is what ALL of them are.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
Wake up to the sunlight with your windows open
Don't hold in your anger or leave things unspoken
Wear your red dress, use your good dishes
Make a big mess and make lots of wishes
And have what you want, but want what you have
And don't spend your life looking back
Turn up the music Turn it up loud
Take a few chances and let it all out
'Cause you won't regret it
Looking back from where you have been
'Cause it's not who you knew
And it's not what you did
It's how you live
So go to the ballgames and go to the ballet
And go see your folks more than just on the holidays
Kiss all your children, dance with your wife
Tell your husband you love him every night
Don't run from the truth 'cause you can't get away, oh no
Face it and you'll be okay
Oh, wherever you are and wherever you've been
Now is the time to begin
So give to the needy, and pray for the grieving
Even when you don't think that you can
'Cause all that you do is bound to come back to you
So think of your fellow man
And make peace with God, and make peace with yourself
'Cause in the end, there's nobody else
Monday, December 01, 2008
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