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Showing posts from December, 2009

Year end blog

I cannot say that 2009 was a bad year. Actually...it was a really good one.

January - Hated the start of the year. Met someone but found out that he is a womanizer and man-whore. He didn't want anything to do with me when I said I wouldn't have sex with him. I stopped watching the news after that. Yes...he is a well known tv personality here in town.

February - Got serious about finding a new place to live. The house I was in was starting to make me and the kids sick. End of the month I walked into a house that I knew in an instant was going to be my new home.

March - Moved into MY new home. :) Saw "Twilight" for the first time. The addiction began.

April - First GWO was the beginning of the month. Learned that the words "Christian" and "hypocrite" go hand in hand. Someone who couldn't accept me being honest and truthful chose to end our friendship. With that action the weight he left on my heart was lifted.

May - Not a lot happened …

All's quiet on the western front

Really. It is. OMT!!! I cannot believe how fricking quiet it's been. Not only at work but everywhere I look. The cruise forums are almost at a stand still. Television shows are nothing but reruns. Even status updates on Facebook are dragging. What is going on??? Gives me too much time to think. All of the thoughts running around in my melon took me in this direction...

Why do people settle?

Seriously. Why? I have known so many people who settle for any warm body that pays attention to them just to have someone in their life.

1. A friend told me once that if she had it to do over she would have never married her husband. She said that the only reason she stays with him is for financial reasons and she doesn't want to be alone.

2. Another friend started dating a man, who in my opinion was not worthy of her, and he was verbally abusive. Telling her to stop eating because she is fat and saying hurtful things that no one should ever put up with. She is now marr…

Just my opinion

but I think that the 80's was the most amazing decade for music ever. I'm sitting here listening to Rick Springfield's "Don't talk to Strangers" and talk about a flashback. The music in the 80's was exactly that. Music. Not that bass ridden, hip hop crap they say is music today. What the hell is that stuff anyway? I know it's not my age saying that. Seriously. There is just nothing there that has any kind of redeeming value. You sure as hell can't really dance to it unless you can pop and whatever else they do now. If you aren't a hip hop dancer...forget even trying to dance to it. In the 80's there were definitely people who couldn't dance well but at least they could kind of keep to the beat. All of the music in the 80's had a different sound and beat to it. Not like the songs of today. Same song different singer is what it seems to be now.

I'm listening to Rick and remembering my first concert which just so hap…

Christmas and Twilight

Never in a million years did I think that reading a saga would bring some of the most amazing people into my life. People from all walks of life and different corners of the world. When I signed on for the cruise little did I know that I was part of a group of men and women who would become very dear friends. A couple of friends that I met through the cruise forum flew up here last month to attend my New Moon party. To be honest...that blew my mind. I have a very small circle of friends as we all know. I'm very leery of people in general and to have 2 women spend the time and money to fly from CA to my house just to spend time with me took me completely by surprise. It showed me that I am not what others have tried to tell me I am. A bad person. A bad friend and I think only of myself.

This post is actually going somewhere. I look at my Christmas tree and it reminds me of just how much people think of me and that I'm loved. My tree was decorated by my children and …

Sometimes ya gotta take a step back...

I'm single. We all know that. Sometimes it sucks but for the most part I'm enjoying my freedom. I'm able to come and go as I please. Well...within reason. I need to make sure that my kids are either with me or being taken care of. I get to go on a cruise and I didn't have to talk to a man to see if he would be okay with it. I just called and put my deposit down. I'm hoping to go to New York for a mini vacation in February. No one to ask if he is okay with it. I'm just doing it. Then we get to GWO. I started the "tradition" with the trip we took this year. I thought it would be a good thing for all of us to get together at least once a year. To be women instead of mom's. Little did I know that what I thought was a good idea would end up causing me more stress than is necessary. I'm not going to get into the why's and what for's. It stresses me out and brings me to tears.

I've canceled the GWO for 2010. Well...I&#…

View of self

Sometime in the last year I lost me. Not because of some drama. Not because I started feeling sorry for myself. Not because of anything at all. At least not anything that people would say is typical. I used to wear cute clothes with a kind of Carrie flair. Always something a little different added to my conforming outfits. It's what made me stand out a little bit. Since moving I have yet to be the quirky me. For work I wear black pants, a sweater and non-descript black boots. Last year at this time? I never went to work without wearing 3 inch heels. Hmmmm.....

Since buying the house I've gained weight. I attribute that to losing the stress factor I had in my life. I'm working on losing the weight. It's not a lot, thank goodness, but it's just enough to make me feel not so pretty. I was completely stupid in June and decided to cut my hair off. I now regret that. What in the world possessed me to cut hair that was past my bra strap off to just under…

It's a struggle...

I decided back in October that I needed to start working out. Since buying my house and having the lump in my breast removed I've gained some weight. I've gone from a size 8 to a 10. Ouch. Goes to show that stress is the best diet out there. Remove the stress and guess what? You gain weight!!! Well...at least I did and I'm hating it with a fricking passion!!! The cruise has given me incentive to lose what I've gained. Let me tell you...it was easier putting it on than taking it off. I joined Curves and didn't really get serious about it until the last couple of weeks. Today was my day to be measured. I've lost an inch in my waist and 2% body fat. WOW!!! I didn't think I was losing anything. If this keeps up I'll make my goal by cruise time. I have a pair of jeans I could wear when I turned 40 and they were a size 6. I liked how I looked in them and I want to be able to wear them again. I know I can do it and having the club in the sam…

Okay...where's Tracey and what did you do with her?

Today I found out that a guy I used to date is moving into an assisted living facility. Apparently he has some dystrophy in his nerves and has no use of his legs and is in a wheelchair. We were both 21 when we dated. He was someone that started me on the "do not trust men" road. After putting up with the lies, the cheating and the humiliation for over a year the relationship ended. I never looked back nor did I want anything to do with him. Every once in awhile I would hear something about him and I would take it with a grain of salt. I figured it was more lies. He was soooo good at that. Lie after lie after lie would come out of that man's mouth. Now I sit here and still question if he is still lying and creating this medical condition. I should feel bad for him. I should have some kind of compassion and sympathy for him. I don't. I feel nothing but "Oh well...Karma's a bitch isn't it?". Where did that come from??? That is so un…

Where have I been?

Certainly not blogging that's for sure. Last post was in August. Seems like that was a million years ago. So much has happened in 3 months. Things I won't get into on here but definitely some life changes. No...I did not get married or have a baby.

One part that happened is...

NEW MOON WAS RELEASED!!! OMT!!!! I've seen it 5 times so far. I can't get enough of it and I've read that they won't be releasing the DVD until May or June!!!!! WTF???? Seriously? With Eclipse being released June 30th they are going to wait until just before that to release NM on DVD? That's just messed up.

I.DO.NOT.WANT.TO.WAIT.THAT.LONG!!!

That is just frustrating. It's really like a drug addiction. Everyone that I know who is a Twilighter feels the same way. They just can't get enough and have seen it multiple times. I know that I'll see it at least a couple more times before it's out of the theaters. Af…