Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Cruisin' video

It's about 9 minutes long so get comfy. :)

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

It's just reality...

It was said this weekend that I'm the girl next door pretty. In the same breath the next question was "Do you know where nice girls finish?". Yeah. I do. They finish last. Men do not want the girl next door. They do not want a woman who has curves and may be a little squishy around the middle and hip area. The reality of it want a woman who is toned. A flat tummy and a little bubble of a butt. Her face is not starting to lose it's tightness. She most definitely does not have the beginnings of *gasp* a turkey neck.

I am the girl who is every man's friend. I am the girl every man talks to and hangs out with. I am the girl that is asked to be friends with benefits. I am not the girl any man wants to be romantically involved with. I am not the girl any man would like to marry.

My friends wonder why I'm single. I just let the whole blog world know why. I'm the girl next door pretty. I am the nice girl who always finishes last. Isn't life grand?

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Who am I?

I look in the mirror daily and wonder who the hell I am. I was thinking this morning "Okay...I'm not gay. I'm not bi but I'm sure as hell not straight". I don't like sex. I don't like relationships in the romantic sense. I just don't know where I fit or where I belong. I was part of a group of women who had girls weekends. GWO. I started GWO for all of us. I thought it was a good idea. Somewhere along the lines I wasn't part of that group. Not through anything they have done. It's me. All me. I know they felt it too. They see that I'm someone different and even though they won't say it...I'm not someone they would like to spend a weekend around. I'm not angry about it. I'm not even playing the martyr about it. My life is so different from their's. Everyone is married or has a partner. Their children are grown or they have someone who can take care of their children for a weekend. If a GWO weekend falls on a weekend I have my kids...I don't go anywhere. I get my kids 2 weekends out of the month. I won't leave them to do something for myself. I don't have that luxury. The only reason I signed up for the cruise is because my kids won't be with me. Summer vacation is the only real time I have for me. I've tried telling them that but it's not something within their realm of thinking so it doesn't mean a whole lot. I can't understand their married life so I certainly don't expect them to understand my life. So instead of being hurt I have chosen to remove myself from the group. It's easier for me to say I made the decision instead of letting myself believe and realize I was actually left out.

People tell me how I should feel and that the way I view things is wrong or BS. That has happened my whole life. I've been invalidated by almost everyone I know. To be honest...the only people who haven't done that are people within my Twi-family. They accept me without judgement or telling me how I need to be, think or feel. I don't have to wear my mask when I'm with them or talk to them. Only one woman out of the GWO group I feel cares about who I am. The rest I don't think would show up to my funeral.

I'm not feeling sorry for myself but I've learned that life isn't what we start out thinking it is. After all of the abuse I've gone through I've given up on letting anyone close. I have friends but I don't have a best friend. I refuse to become involved with anyone romantically. There is way too much damage from a lifetime of being criticized, belittled, demeaned, beaten, raped, and thrown away. I've closed myself off. There isn't the option for anyone to get close to me. I stick to myself for the most part. I'm not a complete hermit but close enough to keep me comfortable in this life.

What I would like to know is...are there others out there like me? Have they almost completely shut down like I have? Have they realized their life is much easier and better keeping people at an arms length? Do they no longer have romantic feelings? Is there anyone out there like me?

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Friday, October 15, 2010


The DVD will be released on December 4. *heavens angels sigh* While doing my search I came across the Collectors Edition at Target. It will be a beautiful, beautiful start to the holidays don't you think? :)

Everyone needs to hear this

Gay, straight, black, white. I don't care who you are or what you are. Everyone needs to listen to this song and remember...stand in someone else's shoes before casting your personal judgement and agenda on others.

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Fan made

A fan made trailer of Breaking Dawn. Sometimes fan made trailers kick Summit's weak trailers all to hell.

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Humor and a good cause

Gotta love word of mouth. Sherri told me about a bracelet that she purchased and me being the girly girl I am...I had to check it out. Cathy makes the most beautiful bracelets. She also has a shop on Etsy. Go check her out and spend some money!!! Really...spend some. Her bracelets are worth it. :) Y'all need to click on the "like" button on her facebook! The woman has a killer sense of humor and will make you giggle everytime you read one of her posts.

This is the bracelet she created for Dee. A survivor of shaken baby syndrome. He is a wonderful little boy and the son of one of my best friends. Her bracelets are crocheted. How she crochets beads I have no bloody clue but she does and she does a fine job of it. She even makes Twilight bracelets!!! Have yet to buy one but one day I will. Well...I will when my checkbook will allow it in the budget. ;)

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Thursday, October 07, 2010

Birthdays and Twilight

I'm tired of doing nothing for my birthday. Granted my last birthday I was treated to a weekend of pampering and seeing Michael Buble' by a man I used to date but honestly...he drove me out of my mind and completely batty. I remembered why we aren't together. *headdesk* I want to do something with friends and the one thing that keeps me from losing my mind. Twilight. A thought popped into my melon this morning. Why not spend my birthday in the one place that would surround me with Twilight? So the plan started to form. I checked my calendar and grinned. That is a weekend without children. Say it isn't so!!! I can spend my 44th birthday in Twilight heaven and not be worried about where my kids are? Oh the joy and fabulocity of it all!!!

So where am I going to immerse myself in all Twilight? I'm going to go here:

bellas house Pictures, Images and Photos

and here:

kalama high school Pictures, Images and Photos

and here:

Thunderbird & Whale bookstore in the movie, really a law office in St. Helens OR Pictures, Images and Photos

and here:

Twilight Alley Way Pictures, Images and Photos

and here:

View Point Inn Pictures, Images and Photos

and for a list of everywhere else:

Where will we be staying? In St. Helens of course!

So...for my Twi-friends who are reading this...just let me know if you can make it and I'll start getting everything put together. :)

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Must promote this...

I'm a Twilighter. Everyone knows that. Just look at my blog and it won't take long to figure it out. I do have to stray from my Twlight for a moment though. My friend, Linda Wolf of Cruises, Cruises, Cruises who put together the Twilight Fans Cruise I went on in August and is putting together the Twilight Cruise I'm going on next year has put together another theme cruise. Ready for it? Harry Potter! Yes my friends...there is going to be a Harry Potter themed cruise to the Caribbean. I spoke with Linda today and there are going to be LOOK ALIKES on the ship. She named off: Hagrid, Bellatrix, Sirius, Harry, Hermione and she is hopefully going to have a few more. Check out the link and if Harry Potter is your own personal brand of heroin...sign up!!! Yeah...I threw in the Twilight quote because...well because. ;)

Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos