Thursday, September 15, 2011

Life is like a box of chocolates....

You never know what you're gonna get. Truer words have never been spoken. Let's face it...life is a crap shoot. Sometimes you win...sometimes you lose. It's how you handle the losses. Some losses I have failed miserably in the aftermath. Talk about your lesson learning experiences.

Natalie mentioned something last night on her facebook about how she tries, and tries and tries with a certain friend but nothing changes. Well...it was along those lines. I'm paraphrasing. That status made me think of the past year and how with certain friends I did the same thing. No matter what I said or did those women judged me or criticizied me. Those were the women I cut out of my life after I had finally had enough. A person can only take so much and then it's time to end the relationship. So I miss those women? Sometimes. Do I regret the friendships? No. It is through the ups and downs with them that I found who I am and just what I will and will not accept. I do think "Would I have ended the friendships if I hadn't made new friends through the cruise? Would I have continued to accept being belittled and treated as sub human?" Sadly...I think I would have. I would have been of the opinion that some friends are better than no friends. Heavens I would have been so wrong!!!

I do like the direction my life took me with the ending of a couple of friendships. I'm stronger and stand up for myself more often. I'm finding that people want to be around me and those people don't pity me. For example...I had mentioned wanting to go to Vegas for my birthday next year and within 24 hours I am spending a week in Vegas with at least 8 amazing women. Instead of me finding a hotel...one friend offered up her timeshare. I have friends who are flying from Rhode Island and Texas. There are a few people who can't make it and I'm sad about that but they will be there in spirit. I've just gained so much with cleaning my life house. Will I speak poorly of the women that are no longer friends with me? No. They are who they are. They just didn't fit into my life story and who I need to be. I fully believe people are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I'm not sad that it's over. I'm thankful for the fun and good times I had. I just know when it's time to say goodbye for not only my self preservation but for their's also.

Life is short and I don't plan on regrets. With that said....bring on Cruise to Alaska 2012!!! :) Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The highs...the lows

In the last 7 years I have learned how to do something. Stand up for myself. I won't allow myself to be a doormat for others anymore. I also will not sit back and let others talk trash about me or behind my back. Once I find out that is going on...I'm outta there. Friendship over. Kaput. Dead. Bury it because it's no longer breathing. It is because of this I have been called many a name and told I do not know how to be a friend. Oh really now... If being a friend means I am to accept name calling, accept someone saying "fuck you" to me, not saying how something hurts me, keeping my emotions and feelings buried so no one can see them, and rolling over so I can be walked on then I guess I am not a friend. I refuse to let someone speak to me as if I am subhuman and not say something back. No longer in my nature. I will not accept two faced backstabbing people into my life. I don't need it. It may sound like a cliche but life is too short for people like that. I have no use for them. I'm sure there are people out there who would love to be "friends" with those types. I am not one of them.

Will I end up without friends in my life? I doubt it. I don't whine to them about every little thing in my life. I don't bitch and moan when things don't go my way. I do listen to them when they are having troubles. I'm there to chat when they want to just chat. But...the really cool thing about that is...they want to chat with me. I don't bring my troubles to many people. When I do it's something major that is bothering me and I know I can't handle it on my own. Do I feel guilty when I do that? Absolutely but the friends I talk to are the ones who say "Why are you apologizing??? This is what friends do!!!". Those are the friends I know I can trust and know will be real and genuine with me. The Twilight cruise brought a lot of fake into my life but after weeding through all of the bs...I found some friends who are diamonds. That is what it's all about.



Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Dating is a crap shoot

It's flattering when you meet a man 200 miles from home and then he places an ad in the paper looking for you. What is not so flattering is finding out what this man's history is. When I meet someone I Google him. I'll look on court websites to see if he has a record. I'm not stupid. Imagine my surprise when I found out some things about this man that were far from what I ever thought I would find. I ended it within 24 hours of finding out this information. He is was less than nice to me. It's okay. I have to not only look out for my well being but I also need to look out for my childrens welfare. I won't put any of us at risk for a man. It's just not worth it.

So...I am back in the pond. Swimming around with the hope that there is a fishie out there for me. I do have prospects. A man whom I've known for at least 6 years and back in contact with. A man I know doesn't have a record and is clean. We will see where it goes. If it goes no further than a friendship I'm okay with that. The world won't end for me if I'm alone. I've been this way for almost 7 years. I just know that I'm not going to settle for less than what is the absolutely best for me and my kids.












Edward and Bella Pictures, Images and Photos