In the last 7 years I have learned how to do something. Stand up for myself. I won't allow myself to be a doormat for others anymore. I also will not sit back and let others talk trash about me or behind my back. Once I find out that is going on...I'm outta there. Friendship over. Kaput. Dead. Bury it because it's no longer breathing. It is because of this I have been called many a name and told I do not know how to be a friend. Oh really now... If being a friend means I am to accept name calling, accept someone saying "fuck you" to me, not saying how something hurts me, keeping my emotions and feelings buried so no one can see them, and rolling over so I can be walked on then I guess I am not a friend. I refuse to let someone speak to me as if I am subhuman and not say something back. No longer in my nature. I will not accept two faced backstabbing people into my life. I don't need it. It may sound like a cliche but life is too short for people like that. I have no use for them. I'm sure there are people out there who would love to be "friends" with those types. I am not one of them.
Will I end up without friends in my life? I doubt it. I don't whine to them about every little thing in my life. I don't bitch and moan when things don't go my way. I do listen to them when they are having troubles. I'm there to chat when they want to just chat. But...the really cool thing about that is...they want to chat with me. I don't bring my troubles to many people. When I do it's something major that is bothering me and I know I can't handle it on my own. Do I feel guilty when I do that? Absolutely but the friends I talk to are the ones who say "Why are you apologizing??? This is what friends do!!!". Those are the friends I know I can trust and know will be real and genuine with me. The Twilight cruise brought a lot of fake into my life but after weeding through all of the bs...I found some friends who are diamonds. That is what it's all about.