Tuesday, November 26, 2013

They say...

If you have been friends with someone for 7 years that friendship will last a lifetime.  Sorry but I call crap on that.  In no way does time mean someone won't turn on you and stab you in the back or throw you under the bus in order to save their own butt.  I'm amazed at just how two faced a person can be when they tell you they want to see you happy and just how much they love you.  How in the .blazes can someone do that and feel okay within themselves?  How do they sleep at night knowing full well they spew nothing but lies?

I repaired a friendship back in 2005 with a woman I ended the friendship with in 1989.  I ended it the first time based upon her selfishness and leaving me high and dry in our apartment.  No money to pay rent or bills.  I was forced to move back home with my parents  I did not speak to her again for 16 years.  She had sent me a letter some where within those 16 years but I did not respond.  She made her choice and she had to live with it.  How I wish that I had not rekindled the friendship in 2005.  In the last 8 years it has been nothing but a roller coaster with her.  Finding out just how two faced she truly is when it comes to me and others.  How she felt the need to treat me as if I was an invalid and unable to care for myself.  How she embarrassed me in front of new friends and making me out to be a drunk and a whore when I do drink.  The list just goes on.  I stopped talking to this woman a couple of years ago due to me being fed up with her "mothering" me when I asked her, repeatedly, to stop.  Why oh why did I allow her back into my life???  Just a couple of weeks ago I find out that she had completely thrown me under the bus for a situation that was not all my idea.  She was part of the idea also.  She allowed everyone who heard about it (one woman in particular who went on a rage and trashed me on a public forum instead of being an adult and talking to me instead) and she did not step up and say that she was all for the idea also.  Nope.  She sat back and let everyone on that forum completely trash me and belittle me.  Seriously???  I am not part of the group forum so what does this woman do?  Copy and pasted the whole conversation to me.  Yep.  She let me see every nasty thing that was said about me.  Instead of saying that it wasn't something that was wanted.  Nope.  She felt the need to hurt me and make me feel like I was complete garbage.  I really think she enjoys hurting others.  It makes her feel better about her "sad, lonely, soccer mom, husband doesn't give a damn about her" life.

After thinking a few days about what she had done I decided that enough was enough.  I don't need that from a friend.  What kind of friend would do that?  I'll tell you what kind.  A back stabbing, two faced, thinks only of herself and could careless about how badly she hurts others kind of friend.  With friends like her who the heck needs enemies?  So...I very nicely wrote her an email letting her know I had enough and her throwing me under the bus and not standing up to say she was part of the idea also was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I haven't heard one word from her since.  That right there speaks volumes.  I have since found out that she is "friends" again with a woman whom she was saying just a couple of months ago is stupid and will be divorced within a couple of years.  She has not said much that is complimentary about that woman so that has confirmed to me just what a loser she really is.  She can't be a friend. She doesn't know how.  She buys her friends with silly and stupid gifts.  She thinks that if she gives money or bows down and accepts any treatment from her so called friends then she will look and be considered a great person.  I've been bitten three times by her selfishness and cruelty.  Let her face her karma.  I don't need someone like her in my life.  I was a fool for allowing her to come back into my life.  I guarantee that it won't happen again.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice and even three times...shame on me.  I won't be shamed again. 

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

The joys of age and low tolerance for bullshit

This blog has become more of a way for me to vent, rage and then release.  I think that is okay.  Put it out in the blogosphere and if anyone reads it...oh well.  I'm not here for entertainment purposes.  I've been blogging for 10 years.  Although I haven't blogged in almost a year.  Guess life hasn't been too "dramatic" in that year.  That is a good thing.  So that must lead anyone who is reading this to think "Had a bit of drama lately huh?".  Yes...you could say that.    I am finding that the older I get the less I am able to put up with bullshit.  I have very little patience for stupidity or just lack of consideration.  Ended yet another friendship this week.  Not a long term friendship so it really didn't hurt me.  For me, the friendship was going downhill and had been for awhile.  It was one of those constant whining about how people are treating her but not making the changes to stop the treatment.  It was one of those things where she wanted me to give her happiness in her choices when there was no possible way I could.  Choices that were extremely bad for her.  I couldn't be fake to her.  I would just make mono syllable comments when she would text me.  Sometimes I would skirt around how I thought her choices were bad for her.  I wasn't the only person to tell her she was making bad decisions.  Anyway...it reached a boiling point on Monday and I lost it.  She made a snide comment that had zero to do with what I was talking about and that was all it took.  I was done.  In the last 2 days she has fabricated stuff and telling people I said things which I never said.  In her words "her perception".  In my words "twisting things around to make me sound like a bitch".  I know what was said.  Another friend knows what I said since I BCC'd her on the email.  I know enough to CYA.  CYA = cover your ass.  I've had my words twisted many times so I have learned to get a 3rd party involved on the sly.   Once my words were twisted and "perceived" I wrote this person off. 

I don't know what it is about me finding women who are two-faced and backstabbing.  I'm quite adept at finding them, befriending them, only to have them turn their ways on me.  You would think I'd learn.  If someone is going to trash talk people whom they say are their friends then they will surely trash talk about me.  I believe she did this with all of my heart.  I believe if there was something snide or bad to say about me she was on the fast train to trash talk me to anyone who would listen to her.  Mainly people who don't know me or hate me anyway.

 I let the friendship go on longer than I should have.  I felt myself become one of those fake friends.  If there is anything I am it is not fake.  I'm not two faced.  I cannot pretend to be nice to someone that I don't get along with.  I cannot pretend to be happy for someone when everyone and their dog knows they are making a huge mistake.  It's just not who I am.  I used to be that way.  I'm going to say it's my age.  I'm just too old for games and bullshit.  I don't enable anyone and I will call it like I see it.  Sometimes it pisses people off but I will be true to my friends and give them honesty.  If there isn't honesty in a friendship then why the hell are you friends to begin with?

Thinking about this situation today and I wondered "Am I really heartless?".  I don't think so.  I worry about my friends when they have problems.  I cry when they cry.  I will listen when they need to rant and vent.  I will be there for them through thick and thin.  It's the two-faced crap I can't deal with.  It's the whining about things but doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.  It's draining.  I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'll be the first to say I am far from it.  It's just exhausting and draining when I give someone advice, the same advice others have given them, and yet they continue acting and doing the exact way they were before the advice.  At some point it's time to walk away and let that person do what they are going to do.  However, I will not allow someone in my life who lives to talk trash about her friends.  Even her best friend she talks trash about.  That is just more than I could and will accept in a friendship.  True, genuine and honest friendships are precious and rare.  Those are the only kind of friendships I will accept.  Anything less and it's goodbye.  I don't have to settle for less.  I have to make myself happy and in this instance, I am at peace and happy with my decision.  It was a long time coming and it was good.