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Liberation

I had a bit of drama last week. Nothing that got me too riled up but it was a drama that needed to be played out. This morning I awoke with the feeling of liberation and coming full circle. I won't get into specifics but the jist of it was that a person from my past could not accept that I will be honest when it comes to how I feel about things. If someone hurts me, I'm going to tell them. If I'm angry, I'm going to tell them. If someone makes me happy, I'll tell them that also. The person in question stated that they could not accept that from me. WOW!!! Seriously? My jaw dropped when I read their email. That statement opened up so much for me I can't even begin to explain. For the first time in 5 years I finally felt that all of the soul searching and self reflection has paid off. I am no longer a prisoner in my own life. I can parole myself from my self imposed prison that I've been in for darned near 5 years.

I have allowed certain people put me and keep in me in the box they want me to be in. To be the spineless and weak woman I was 5 years ago. When I found it in myself to take a stand and not accept that box and the parameters that was being placed upon me...those people cannot accept being in a friendship with me. I was looking at them with my eyes closed so tightly that I didn't see what they were doing to me. Once I opened them wide I saw so clearly what was happening. The way I see it is...as long as they can keep me down and being the sad pathetic person I was...they don't have to face their own inadequacies and just how messed up they really are. I'm not talking in specifics here or about any one person. It's just a generalization of the past 5 years of my life.

I am now a woman who won't tolerate being treated with nothing less than kindness and respect. If someone cannot afford me those two basic principles then there is really no reason for them to be in my life. It's as simple as that. I will be honest with who I am to all who are in my life. I will not change who I am to please others. Accept me as I am or do as one person did last week...leave. Period. Sounds harsh but I have one life to live and I won't waste it on superficial and fake people who claim to be friends. I have too much living to do to be bothered with their games. It's just not worth it and definitely not worth wasting my time on.

Today was liberating for me. What a great way to start a Tuesday.

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