Life as I know it...

I went to the Lighthouse yesterday. It is a thrift store where all of the clothes, shoes and purses are $1.00. I picked up 2 pairs of pants, a black sweater and 3 shirts. One of the shirts is a tank top. I wore the tank top to work today. I did not realize how low cut this tank top it. Not a top to wear to work but I'm doing pretty good with covering my cleavage with the sweater. Yes!!! I have cleavage. LOL I've never had it before. Sad thing is...I may end up losing my cleavage. Ah well...it's fun for now. I've hit a bleh spot in life. Nothing really good happening. Nothing really bad happening. I hate that. I did have a horrible moment last night while chatting with a friend of mine. While I know he was trying to get me to smile it was starting to really irritate me. Since my views on life have changed it seems that everyone believes I need to be up all the time and never have a down moment. I'm sorry but I am human. I still get upset over thin...

It is frustrating to type out a post that took darned close to an hour to compose and have it disappear into the blog abyss. Yes...that happened to me yesterday. It was a vent blog and I was livid to say the least. It was about seeing someone on Saturday that I truly don't care to ever lay eyes on again. *shudder* But...I digress into why the Dalai stopped it. Ok...I'm not saying he had anything to do with it but work with me on this. I came into work today all bleh. I have a desk calendar on my desk...fancy that will you? It is "Insight from the Dalai Lama". What would Saturday's insight be? Let me share it... "To be aware of a single shortcoming within oneself is more useful than to be aware of a thousand in somebody else. Rather than speaking badly about people and in ways that will produce only friction and unrest in their lives, we should preactice a purer perception of them, and when we speak of others, speak of their good qualities. If yo...

Had my appointment today. It went as well as I could expect. There weren't any changes in the lump I have and he did find another one in my right breast. We discussed genetic testing and removing my breasts all together. I really like my doctor. He will answer my questions and take time with me to help me understand what is going on and could happen. I've set up an appointment for another mammogram on March 8th but I will also be meeting with another doctor for genetic counseling. Dr. Monson wants me to look at all paths before even considering mastectomies. He did mention tamoxofin but I want to do some research on that before I start taking more meds. I'm already on estropipate which is a hormone. This whole thing has me a bit freaked out. I teared up abit while driving back to Sherri's but regained my composure. I don't want to lose it yet. I don't want to lose it at all. I need to be strong throughout all of this. This is my life and I've be...

I've let go of the anger towards everyone who has hurt me. All but one. What is it about her that keeps the anger there? Why can I not forgive her? What she did to me was nothing more than an act of betrayal. Showing me that she was never in fact what someone would consider a true honest friend. Is it her that I can't forgive or is it me that I cannot forgive? After years of throughly disliking this person I befriended her. Even against the advice of many who said she will one day stab me in the back like she has done to everyone who enters her life. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt and chose to believe there was good in her. That was not a good choice for my life. It is the one thing in life I regret. We shouldn't have regrets in life and for the most part...I don't. None but her. While I learned some very valuable lessons through my experiences with her I can't help but think that maybe I could have learned them in other ways. I need to face ...

I received an email yesterday from a gentleman I have been conversing with for a few weeks. He told me I needed to watch Oprah. I'm glad he told me. She had The Secret on. If you haven't heard of the Secret I highly recommend checking it out. I haven't gotten the DVD yet but it's on my list of "things to buy with my tax refund". With just what little I had heard yesterday on Oprah I learned that I had been implementing "the secret" for awhile now. That came as a complete shock to me. It's such a simple thing. Something everyone is capable of doing. If it is so easy...why don't we do it? That is the million dollar question. Please check out the website. It's not any "cult" thing or religious thing. It's a life thing. A thing that can totally and completely change who you are and where your life is going. What have you got to lose? Nothing. What have you to gain? Everything!!! :)