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Oops

I went to the Lighthouse yesterday. It is a thrift store where all of the clothes, shoes and purses are $1.00. I picked up 2 pairs of pants, a black sweater and 3 shirts. One of the shirts is a tank top. I wore the tank top to work today. I did not realize how low cut this tank top it. Not a top to wear to work but I'm doing pretty good with covering my cleavage with the sweater. Yes!!! I have cleavage. LOL I've never had it before. Sad thing is...I may end up losing my cleavage. Ah well...it's fun for now.

I've hit a bleh spot in life. Nothing really good happening. Nothing really bad happening. I hate that. I did have a horrible moment last night while chatting with a friend of mine. While I know he was trying to get me to smile it was starting to really irritate me. Since my views on life have changed it seems that everyone believes I need to be up all the time and never have a down moment. I'm sorry but I am human. I still get upset over things. I still get bummed about things. I even cry sometimes. Ok...that isn't often. I do try to find the positive in a negative situation and I'm pretty good at it. It's taken me a long time to get to where I'm for the most part a very happy person. But people need understand I cannot always be cheery and happy 100% of the time. Things do get to me. I get angry, I get frustrated and I will vent about whatever the situation is. I feel as if I have been put upon a pedestal that I truly do not want to be on. I do want to be viewed as the one people can come to and count on in a crisis but I also want to be viewed as human and I can falter/stumble/have emotions just as others do. If I am to ever truly open up and be a person who isn't viewed as cold and incapable of emotions...please let me find that within myself again. Don't expect Miss Polly Primrose all of the time. Let me be me...whoever that is.

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