Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned
to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those
who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama
than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before
they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God
help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who
I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back
no matter how desperately I wish I could.
Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm
getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I
was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm
a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a
woman who struggles with each day but I'm also a woman who knows I'm worth so much more
than what was drilled into my head and accepted as truth. Don't look for the
woman I was 20 years ago. She isn't here
anymore.