Skip to main content

Life is meant to be lived

There is going to be drama in life.  We can't avoid it.  No matter what we do, no matter what we say, no matter how kind we try to be, no matter how good we try to be...someone will inevitably try to hurt you.  They will lie about you. They will call you crazy.  They will try to destroy you.  You will never understand why.  This is where "life is meant to be lived".  Live your life.  Don't own another person's life and how they wish to be.  That's upon them.  We live in an age where "delete and block" are now your safety blanket.  Use them.  Protect yourself.  The hardest thing you can do is walk away without being drawn into the hate and defending yourself.    Even though you want to stand up, don't do it.  It's what feeds the hate.

Why do you want to defend yourself?  You know who you are.  Your friends know who you are.  Why does it matter what others say and believe?  As long as they are not harming you physically or interfering into your everyday life...move on.  Let them do what they believe they have to do.  If they feel better saying you are a horrible person, when your friends know that you aren't, let them feel better.  At least you are helping them in some small way to have a  more positive view about themselves. 

A person's hate towards you is not a reflection of you.  It is their perceived view of why they think you are, who they want you to be.  Don't own that.  Why would you own that?  Hate does not destroy the person being hated.  It will consume and destroy the person hating.  Live your life and to those who hate you?  Pray for them because honestly.....hate is a vicious and all consuming emotion.  It will eat away at a person bit by bit until there is nothing left but anger and bitterness.   You are a good person.  If in no one's eyes but yours and God's.  Those are the sets of  eyes that truly matter at the end of the day. 

Popular posts from this blog

love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...
Read more

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...
Read more

A lifetime

 I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember.  I honestly don't remember a time when I thought I was worth loving or even being allowed to live.  I've been suicidal, I've had a catatonic moment, I've been severely depressed.  In essence, I've been a mental mess.  I didn't know why.  I just was.  Doctors put me on medication but they barely touched my illness.  The demons were still there.  When I went off of the medication, those voices were loud and strong.   They controlled me.  The problem was...I didn't mind it.  It was a comfort for me.  It was my safe space.  I embraced their words. I know that sounds twisted but mental illness doesn't make sense. One year ago I decided I had enough.  I wanted to be happy.  I wanted to live my life, not just exist in it.  I went back on medication.  It helped...for a while.  Then those voices started coming back.  "You aren't worth i...
Read more