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Life and it's infinite joys

Interesting things in Tracey's life...very interesting. I'm not dating anyone special and honestly...I like it that way. At least for now. Maybe someday I will be open to looking at finding that one person who makes my heart beat just a little faster and puts a smile on my face at the mere thought of his name. I just don't want to settle for any man for the sake of having a man. Too many women do that. I've had a couple of friends who have done that exact thing and while I'm no longer friends with either of them...I can't help but think that they are not happy in the choices they have made. I just don't see how they can be when neither of them took time out to heal their wounded soul after very bitter divorces. To have a healthy relationship...one must be healthy within their heart, mind and spirit. Until that happens...the relationship is doomed to fail because the baggage is still rotating on the baggage carousel. I want to buy new baggage with a new man. All shining and clean. Nothing that has been beat to hell.

I've been looking at a house and I have qualified for a loan to purchase it. I just need to get some things cleared up and I will be a HOMEOWNER!!! First time in my life. Scary but yet I'm completely excited about it. My very own place. A place where I can create a loving, healthy sanctuary for me and my girls. No more trailers!!! Life is at an amazing place for me right now. I can only see it getting better. :)

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Well I got a couple more hours of sleep. I have the best kids. They let me sleep and didn't wake me up until my cell started ringing. We went out and about today. K wanted to try Bubble Tea so I obliged her. Mistake. It is not good by any stretch of the imagination. If you don't know what Bubble Tea is....g00gle it. Once you find out...don't try it. *shudder* An expensive taste test. There is a storm heading our way. Would you believe it's supposed to snow tonight??? Snow on Easter. How odd would that be? Speaking of Easter...my girls are watching TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) and watching a childs version of The Passion. Even watching the crucifixtion of Christ as a cartoon it still brings tears to my eyes. I am so unworthy of what He went through for me. Well not just me but all of mankind. I saw The Passion last year and that is when I realized I needed to turn my life around. I was making a serious mess of things so I gave it all back to God. My life has had it...
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It's going to be busy...

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love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...
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