Skip to main content

Year end blog

I cannot say that 2009 was a bad year. Actually...it was a really good one.

January - Hated the start of the year. Met someone but found out that he is a womanizer and man-whore. He didn't want anything to do with me when I said I wouldn't have sex with him. I stopped watching the news after that. Yes...he is a well known tv personality here in town.

February - Got serious about finding a new place to live. The house I was in was starting to make me and the kids sick. End of the month I walked into a house that I knew in an instant was going to be my new home.

March - Moved into MY new home. :) Saw "Twilight" for the first time. The addiction began.

April - First GWO was the beginning of the month. Learned that the words "Christian" and "hypocrite" go hand in hand. Someone who couldn't accept me being honest and truthful chose to end our friendship. With that action the weight he left on my heart was lifted.

May - Not a lot happened in May. Jordin turned 10 and that freaked me out a bit. When did my baby grow up?

June - School is out. Oh boy. A full 3 months of hearing "MOM!!! I'm bored!!!" Found out about the "Twilight Cruise" to Alaska. Put my deposit down. :)

July - Went to Vancouver and spent 4th of July weekend with Tina. We took the "Twilight" tour and had a blast!!! I did learn to not have any kind of food at The Viewpoint Inn. Their hamburgers were still moo'ing when they were served to us. Needless to say...I had some tummy issues later in the day.

August - Mom and dad came to visit. I miss them so much. :(

September - My baby girl started high school. When the hell did that happen???

October - My baby girl turned 15. WHAT??? I'm not diggin this at all.

November - After 6 months of planning I had a New Moon party. Went to see New Moon the first of many times. Realized that I will not plan the Eclipse party. Someone else can do it. This planning stuff is exhausting.

December - Had the best Christmas since 2000. Lots of Twilight stuff. :)

All in all...a great year. Next year is shaping up to be even better. A trip to NY, 2nd annual GWO, Eclipse party, 25 year high school reunion, cruise, my parents coming to visit, Kyla getting her drivers license. See? Busy. I like it.

Popular posts from this blog

love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...
Read more

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...
Read more

A lifetime

 I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember.  I honestly don't remember a time when I thought I was worth loving or even being allowed to live.  I've been suicidal, I've had a catatonic moment, I've been severely depressed.  In essence, I've been a mental mess.  I didn't know why.  I just was.  Doctors put me on medication but they barely touched my illness.  The demons were still there.  When I went off of the medication, those voices were loud and strong.   They controlled me.  The problem was...I didn't mind it.  It was a comfort for me.  It was my safe space.  I embraced their words. I know that sounds twisted but mental illness doesn't make sense. One year ago I decided I had enough.  I wanted to be happy.  I wanted to live my life, not just exist in it.  I went back on medication.  It helped...for a while.  Then those voices started coming back.  "You aren't worth i...
Read more