Skip to main content

Sometimes ya gotta take a step back...

I'm single. We all know that. Sometimes it sucks but for the most part I'm enjoying my freedom. I'm able to come and go as I please. Well...within reason. I need to make sure that my kids are either with me or being taken care of. I get to go on a cruise and I didn't have to talk to a man to see if he would be okay with it. I just called and put my deposit down. I'm hoping to go to New York for a mini vacation in February. No one to ask if he is okay with it. I'm just doing it. Then we get to GWO. I started the "tradition" with the trip we took this year. I thought it would be a good thing for all of us to get together at least once a year. To be women instead of mom's. Little did I know that what I thought was a good idea would end up causing me more stress than is necessary. I'm not going to get into the why's and what for's. It stresses me out and brings me to tears.

I've canceled the GWO for 2010. Well...I've canceled it for me. The rest of my friends can get together if they want to. I can't control that. What I can control is what I do. I choose to not be involved for the next GWO. I choose to not be the planner again. When I get comments like "I don't care where you choose. I just can't wait to go" and then when I do choose a place that has everything everyone was requesting I get "Isn't that too far to drive?" even though the first place I had picked was much further and that one was okay. I wasted way too much time and energy on finding a perfect place. I won't do it again.

GWO is a good concept. It is just a concept that I won't be in charge of again. If someone else doesn't take it over then GWO will be nothing more than a pleasant memory of 2009.

Popular posts from this blog

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...

2004 - 2023

  Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back no matter how desperately I wish I could. Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a woman who struggles with ea...

People who say they love you...

Shouldn't be the very people who hurt you the most.  For me, the worst damage comes from those who said they loved me and they were the people who destroyed me.  And people wonder why I don't believe in love.