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3 or 23

I was listening to the radio this morning as I normally do. One of their subjects was about dating. Well seeing how I haven't dated in over a year. Okay...I haven't had a date in over a year. I haven't had a long term boyfriend since Darren. One of the statistics was men prefer women who have some substance to their hip area. Oh really? Where was this poll taken? I have yet to hear a man say "Wow...she looks great. Such round and squishy hips". I am one of those hippy girls. What??? I've had children. It happens to normal women. If I was a celebrity and had a personal trainer I'm sure I would not be hippy but one of those "unattainable women" that men fawn all over.

Women come in different sizes, shapes and forms. Not one body is the same. I have been a size 4. I look emaciated and sick. I've been a size 16 and I look like Shamu. Currently I am in between those sizes. I am a 10. Am I happy as a 10? No but I'm not depressed and suicidal either. What is frustrating is...we women are bombarded daily with skinny, stick thin women. We see men salivating over these skinny women and lusting like a sailor who has been at sea too long. In turn, we women, feel that we need to excercise, diet and almost kill ourselves to fit into a size 4. Why?

As a woman I find it insulting that a man would want me to be what he sees in a magazine or on a porn site. I am not airbrushed. I am not in a gym daily. I eat food. Real food. I love King's Row Specials. For those of you who don't know what that is...it's a junior burger, fries and a soda. I'm a dipper when it comes to my food. Give me a sauce and I'm happily fed. I'm still a beautiful person even though I have hips and a squishy tummy. My last relationship was based upon men's views of how a woman should look. Thin, made up daily, nice clothes. Always pulled together with never a down day. I was brainwashed basically. If I did not look good I was not worth being loved. I gained weight after having a hysterectomy and guess what happened? He suddenly fell out of love with me. Our relationship ended less than a year later. I know I'm not alone in that scenario. Many women have gone through it. Sadly I won't be the last who experiences the destruction of self esteem at the hands of a man and what he views as ideal.

The media has painted a very dismal and ugly picture for real women. Not that the women in the magazines and movies aren't real but they are airbrushed, photoshopped and posed in ways that make them look perfect. It is those women we try to become. What men want us to become. I'm not saying all men because there are some men out there who love a woman for who she is and not what size she is. They are not the majority though. As a woman I find it unfair that a man would want me to be stick thin and look the way he deems a perfect woman. We don't demand that men have a 6 pack and be tighter than lug nuts on a semi. Be real in your expectations. Hard bodies do not last a lifetime. A person's personality and who they are inside does. Find someone you are attracted to but based upon your views of what beauty is. Not Hollywoods or the fashion industry. There are amazing men adn women out there of size. Passing one up because society says they aren't beautiful may be the biggest mistake of your life.

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