After lots of research and talking to a man whom I thought was my uncle...I find out that the man whom I thought was my "father" was infact sterile. He passed away when I was 19 so I will never be able to talk to him about it. My birth mother slept around and apparently there were 2 men she slept with in July 1966. Seeing how the man she said was my father really isn't...I deducted that the other one is my father. He has a son named JR. I learned through my sister that he is a country singer trying to make it in Nashville. I added JR to my Myspace and have since found out that there are some major recording labels who are really interested in him. I am so impressed with him and if he truly is my brother (which in my heart I've always felt that he was...I learned of him when I was 19) then I will be the proudest sister around. Give him a listen. He is quite good and I truly hope and pray he makes it big. :)
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...