I have so many different things going through my head. To learn that I'm going to be able to get the MRI and then surgery has really put my mind in a spin. I never truly thought it would happen. I had given up. Then from out of nowhere an angel kisses my forehead. That kiss has put me in a position I am truly thankful for but...terrified to be in. With all of the roadblocks I've hit in trying to pay for this stuff I didn't prepare myself for when it happened. It's overwhelming but in a good way.
While talking to the nurse the other day I forgot to ask her some questions. Yes...the fear factor kicked in. One question just rolled into another and another and another. I only wanted to know what the recovery time would be. After multiple surgeries on my tummy I figured it was going to be at least 6 weeks. When she told me 2 weeks at the most, I just about fell off of my chair. Really? I can do 2 weeks. No problem. With the kids, Natalie and possibly Wendy during the nights and David during the days while the kids are at school...I can do that. Piece of cake.
More questions came out of my mouth after that though.
Had Dr. Monson done this surgery before? Yes and many times.
Were they women who had cancer or women being proactive? Almost an equal balance of both.
Do I need to tell him before surgery if I want reconstruction? Yes that would be a good idea.
Do I have reconstruction in Wenatchee? No. That will be done in Seattle because they don't have someone in Wenatchee that my doctor would recommend.
What about pain? While there is pain after surgery, obviously, there are a lot of women who report little to no pain at all and don't even use their pain meds.
I'm sure I will think of more questions to ask before the day of surgery but those were foremost in my mind. For now I'm just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that this is going to happen. I'm excited, nervous, terrified, sad and every other emotion out there. I'm angry that I even have to think of doing this. Sad that I'll be losing my breasts (kind of sad but not too much). Excited at the thought of almost completely eradicating my chance of developing BC. There is still a very very small chance but I'm willing to take that chance. Nervous at what my body will look like once everything is all said and done. Perky boobs again!!! Seriously? I haven't had perky boobs since I had kids. Terrified to see my body without breasts for the first time. That one really has me a bit freaked. What will I think? How will I feel? I know I won't regret it but it's still a scary thing to see myself without my mamm's.
Now the question is...when do I want to do the surgery? Before or after Vegas? LOL
Well I got a couple more hours of sleep. I have the best kids. They let me sleep and didn't wake me up until my cell started ringing. We went out and about today. K wanted to try Bubble Tea so I obliged her. Mistake. It is not good by any stretch of the imagination. If you don't know what Bubble Tea is....g00gle it. Once you find out...don't try it. *shudder* An expensive taste test. There is a storm heading our way. Would you believe it's supposed to snow tonight??? Snow on Easter. How odd would that be? Speaking of Easter...my girls are watching TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) and watching a childs version of The Passion. Even watching the crucifixtion of Christ as a cartoon it still brings tears to my eyes. I am so unworthy of what He went through for me. Well not just me but all of mankind. I saw The Passion last year and that is when I realized I needed to turn my life around. I was making a serious mess of things so I gave it all back to God. My life has had it...