It's getting to me. I just can't deal with the lump that reminds me of it's presence everyday. Yes, it's the original one from a couple of years ago but it has grown. At my last appointment my doctor found a second lump in the same breast. He and I had discussed prophylactic surgery at that point. A surgery I have thought long and hard about. It is one I want to proceed with. I'm sure you are saying "what is prophylactic surgery?". Here is a link to provide you with that information. The only thing I have to do before he will do the surgery is get an MRI. It has been 5 months since we had that conversation and I have yet to do the MRI.
Before anyone starts yelling at me and chewing me out...let me say that I don't have health insurance nor was I working fulltime. I cancelled the appointment and promptly tried to put it out of my mind. It has been lately that it's reared it's ugly head within my thoughts. I made a phone call today to the radiology center. The one answer I got from her sent me reeling. Lower end of the spectrum for an MRI is $2000. Ouch!!! I know it will be more than that because I am highly claustrophobic so I know I will need a mild sedative just to get me through it. I have to drive over to Seattle for the appointment so with missing a day from work and the cost of gas I'm going to have some serious debt going on for 20 minutes of laying still in a freaky tube.
Living with this fear has got to stop. I cannot continue my life this way. Living in fear is just not how we were intended to go through life. Having a massive medical bill over my head is not a great way to live either but...I would rather have that than the fear of developing cancer and dying. My life is worth so much more than $2000 although I could think of a couple of people who would differ with that. LOL
I'm going to be making an appointment to get the MRI done. I have to. I need to live again. I hate just existing. Once I get past this hurdle I will look at surgery. Terrifying but a relief all at the same time. After all...they are just aesthetic and no longer serve a purpose. I'm happy and at peace with my decision. That is all that matters. :)
Before anyone starts yelling at me and chewing me out...let me say that I don't have health insurance nor was I working fulltime. I cancelled the appointment and promptly tried to put it out of my mind. It has been lately that it's reared it's ugly head within my thoughts. I made a phone call today to the radiology center. The one answer I got from her sent me reeling. Lower end of the spectrum for an MRI is $2000. Ouch!!! I know it will be more than that because I am highly claustrophobic so I know I will need a mild sedative just to get me through it. I have to drive over to Seattle for the appointment so with missing a day from work and the cost of gas I'm going to have some serious debt going on for 20 minutes of laying still in a freaky tube.
Living with this fear has got to stop. I cannot continue my life this way. Living in fear is just not how we were intended to go through life. Having a massive medical bill over my head is not a great way to live either but...I would rather have that than the fear of developing cancer and dying. My life is worth so much more than $2000 although I could think of a couple of people who would differ with that. LOL
I'm going to be making an appointment to get the MRI done. I have to. I need to live again. I hate just existing. Once I get past this hurdle I will look at surgery. Terrifying but a relief all at the same time. After all...they are just aesthetic and no longer serve a purpose. I'm happy and at peace with my decision. That is all that matters. :)