*sigh* The day is over. I was told things today that boggled my mind and told things that warmed my heart. The situation with the "friend" went from bad to me realizing what a bitch she truly is. I believe that she has always been a complete bitch but I was never privvy to it. She told me that people do not behave the way I have. Here is what I told her that warranted her statement...
"Friend",
You are right...there is no interest in drama and it is ridiculous. Only I'm the one that should have said it first but I am the type of person who wants answers and does not run away from problems. I will respect your decision to end the friendship in this way. A way that you said would NEVER happen but sadly it has. It is through your own actions that has caused this chain of events. I know that I did nothing to create this situation. All I did was trust you and respect our friendship. Those two precious things are now gone. The trust and respect. I've had time to think and discuss the situation with a few friends and I've been given some wonderful advice. Advice I will follow. I know you do not understand or comprehend the pain that has been caused to me unnecessarily but I don't expect anyone to understand it. I can't understand it myself. I just need to figure out how to forgive and let the healing process begin.You have not contacted me since you told me about your betrayal. That speaks volumes to me. It is ok though. I've gotten angry. I've shed my tears. I've grasped the enormity of what has been lost. Am I happy about it? Not in the least. I'm hurt deeply but that is for me to contend with and heal. And I will heal. You've known me 26 years. You know I will always bounce back stronger and better than I was before.I truly hope he does not break your heart. It's a risky relationship you have entered into. He is still married. They only separated Dec 28, 2007 and have not filed the divorce papers. You are, from what I understand, the first woman he has dated. I hope you can overcome and surpass the odds. With that I will say goodbye. It was a fun 26 years & I have no regrets.
Tracey
Hmmm...people do not behave the way I did in that email? Telling someone that they hurt me and I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut? Ok...not sure of that thinking but she is entitled to her opinions. As you all know...I am not someone to let a smartassed and heartless comment go unheeded. I replied...of course.
Betraying a friendship is not how people behave. You hurting me deliberately was unnecessary. Did you honestly think I would be ok with this? It's not that "insert asshole man's name here" was interested in you because he has just proven he is like all other men, but that you chose to do something you swore you would never do. I know bloody good and well that you would feel the same way I do if the situation was turned around. You made your decision. I'm fine with it. But...you stated on Friday...The last thing I want is for a guy to worm his way between us. Looks like it was only a circumstantial statement and not an unconditional one. Whether chemistry is there or not...friends do not do what you did. Listen...this is beating a dead horse. You chose to betray a friend. I am choosing to not respect you or trust you. We are at a crossroads and it's best to go our separate ways. No matter what you chose to do by telling me you were with him or kept it from me...you were wrong and made a horrible decision. You are an adult and can do as you please. I just know I would never do this to a friend. My friends are more precious to me than my hormones. I'm not the loser in this game "friend". I did not bring any of this upon myself. I am able to sleep with a clear conscience. I just hope you are ok with the choices that were made. As for me...the friendship is over. I cannot even begin to trust you or respect you as a person again. I can't be walked on by you by just letting this go. I would not be true to myself if I did. In the end...how I view myself is all that matters. If I cannot look myself in the mirror and know I am holding true to myself....what's the point?
Her response?
You are a little out of control Tracey. Enough is enough. Its for the best.
I'm out of control because I'm expressing how I feel about what she has done? I'm thinking she still believes I'm the little girl from high school who would let her use me as a doormat and put up with anything just to be friends. Oops...I'm sorry. I've grown out of that phase. In not ONE of the emails was there an "I'm so sorry I hurt you." Just her telling me she won't deal with MY drama. MY DRAMA??? I didn't even start this crap but I sure as hell won't sit by and let her think I'm ok with it. She refuses to take any ownership in what she has done. There wouldn't be any drama if she was a decent human being and did what every person would have done. Left him alone. Remember....cardinal rule among friends. Never go after a man a friend of yours is interested in.
For the first time in 26 years...I called her a bitch. Not to her face but to a couple of friends who are worried about me and just as unhappy as I am with this. Is a man worth all of this crap? Nope. Not at all. He isn't even the issue anymore. Are her lies, betrayal and ultimate lack of concern for hurting me worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. In a few weeks I will say....not. Today? Too vivid in my mind to not think about. Will the friendship ever be repaired. No. It won't. If she can, in good conscience, do exactly what she said she wouldn't...it would just be a matter of time before she did it again. I won't even take the chance. I'm not a doormat nor will I ever be one to a man OR a woman. Do I think she will realize what a mistake she made? Of course she will when this guy uses her for the high school fantasy he has. He had a crush on her all through high school so of course he is going to get what he can from her now since she had zero interest in him then. Once he is done...she will be discarded. The fantasy will have been fullfilled. He will have no use for her. She isn't the perky 18 year old he knew. Reality will hit and when it does she will realize what she has done. The sad thing is...it's already too late. She ended a 26 year friendship for a hormonal surge. That is her cross to bear. I won't carry it for her.
With that said....
I'M DONE WITH THIS DRAMA...:)
"Friend",
You are right...there is no interest in drama and it is ridiculous. Only I'm the one that should have said it first but I am the type of person who wants answers and does not run away from problems. I will respect your decision to end the friendship in this way. A way that you said would NEVER happen but sadly it has. It is through your own actions that has caused this chain of events. I know that I did nothing to create this situation. All I did was trust you and respect our friendship. Those two precious things are now gone. The trust and respect. I've had time to think and discuss the situation with a few friends and I've been given some wonderful advice. Advice I will follow. I know you do not understand or comprehend the pain that has been caused to me unnecessarily but I don't expect anyone to understand it. I can't understand it myself. I just need to figure out how to forgive and let the healing process begin.You have not contacted me since you told me about your betrayal. That speaks volumes to me. It is ok though. I've gotten angry. I've shed my tears. I've grasped the enormity of what has been lost. Am I happy about it? Not in the least. I'm hurt deeply but that is for me to contend with and heal. And I will heal. You've known me 26 years. You know I will always bounce back stronger and better than I was before.I truly hope he does not break your heart. It's a risky relationship you have entered into. He is still married. They only separated Dec 28, 2007 and have not filed the divorce papers. You are, from what I understand, the first woman he has dated. I hope you can overcome and surpass the odds. With that I will say goodbye. It was a fun 26 years & I have no regrets.
Tracey
Hmmm...people do not behave the way I did in that email? Telling someone that they hurt me and I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut? Ok...not sure of that thinking but she is entitled to her opinions. As you all know...I am not someone to let a smartassed and heartless comment go unheeded. I replied...of course.
Betraying a friendship is not how people behave. You hurting me deliberately was unnecessary. Did you honestly think I would be ok with this? It's not that "insert asshole man's name here" was interested in you because he has just proven he is like all other men, but that you chose to do something you swore you would never do. I know bloody good and well that you would feel the same way I do if the situation was turned around. You made your decision. I'm fine with it. But...you stated on Friday...The last thing I want is for a guy to worm his way between us. Looks like it was only a circumstantial statement and not an unconditional one. Whether chemistry is there or not...friends do not do what you did. Listen...this is beating a dead horse. You chose to betray a friend. I am choosing to not respect you or trust you. We are at a crossroads and it's best to go our separate ways. No matter what you chose to do by telling me you were with him or kept it from me...you were wrong and made a horrible decision. You are an adult and can do as you please. I just know I would never do this to a friend. My friends are more precious to me than my hormones. I'm not the loser in this game "friend". I did not bring any of this upon myself. I am able to sleep with a clear conscience. I just hope you are ok with the choices that were made. As for me...the friendship is over. I cannot even begin to trust you or respect you as a person again. I can't be walked on by you by just letting this go. I would not be true to myself if I did. In the end...how I view myself is all that matters. If I cannot look myself in the mirror and know I am holding true to myself....what's the point?
Her response?
You are a little out of control Tracey. Enough is enough. Its for the best.
I'm out of control because I'm expressing how I feel about what she has done? I'm thinking she still believes I'm the little girl from high school who would let her use me as a doormat and put up with anything just to be friends. Oops...I'm sorry. I've grown out of that phase. In not ONE of the emails was there an "I'm so sorry I hurt you." Just her telling me she won't deal with MY drama. MY DRAMA??? I didn't even start this crap but I sure as hell won't sit by and let her think I'm ok with it. She refuses to take any ownership in what she has done. There wouldn't be any drama if she was a decent human being and did what every person would have done. Left him alone. Remember....cardinal rule among friends. Never go after a man a friend of yours is interested in.
For the first time in 26 years...I called her a bitch. Not to her face but to a couple of friends who are worried about me and just as unhappy as I am with this. Is a man worth all of this crap? Nope. Not at all. He isn't even the issue anymore. Are her lies, betrayal and ultimate lack of concern for hurting me worth it? Maybe. Maybe not. In a few weeks I will say....not. Today? Too vivid in my mind to not think about. Will the friendship ever be repaired. No. It won't. If she can, in good conscience, do exactly what she said she wouldn't...it would just be a matter of time before she did it again. I won't even take the chance. I'm not a doormat nor will I ever be one to a man OR a woman. Do I think she will realize what a mistake she made? Of course she will when this guy uses her for the high school fantasy he has. He had a crush on her all through high school so of course he is going to get what he can from her now since she had zero interest in him then. Once he is done...she will be discarded. The fantasy will have been fullfilled. He will have no use for her. She isn't the perky 18 year old he knew. Reality will hit and when it does she will realize what she has done. The sad thing is...it's already too late. She ended a 26 year friendship for a hormonal surge. That is her cross to bear. I won't carry it for her.
With that said....
I'M DONE WITH THIS DRAMA...:)