Skip to main content

So many thoughts...

I seriously need to put a notepad in my purse, in my car and anywhere else I am. I had some fabulously fabulous blog thoughts today and do you know where they are? Well they certainly are not in my noggin. If they are in my noggin'...they are in the deep recesses. For the life of me I cannot remember any of them.

School starts on Tuesday. Can I hear a "WHOOPIE!!!"? The kids are going stircrazy and their phone calls to me at work are driving me up a friggin' wall. "MOM!!! She took the remote. MOM!!! She won't let me watch my show. MOM!!! I sneezed and she didn't say bless you." It doesn't matter what crisis crops up...I get a phone call. Good grief I am glad school is starting. This mama needs a break!!!

I'm feeling lost now that my layout is done. *sniff* I had purpose when I was looking for a cool layout. When fixing it to read how I wanted it to read. Now? Wandering and so lost in my little world. What is a person to do? I even changed the layout on my myspace page. Feelin' the need for change. The weather is changing so my pages need changing also.

Tell me something. Why are games now the thing to do when dating and meeting someone? I don't remember these games when I met Darren. I don't remember the men I met before Darren playing games. It went something like this: Send some emails, talk on the phone a few times, arrange to meet for dinner. If it didn't work out then you went your seperate ways. Now? OMG!!! It is all about stringing someone along. Making you think they like you and then BAM!!! Nothing. WTF??? And these are the very same men who bitch about women playing games and they just want to meet a decent woman. Hello!!! Decent woman...right here!!! Am I cynical? To a point...yes. I have gotten to a place in my life where I'm not looking at just the outside of a man but the inside. Even if he isn't Gerard on the outside...he may be on the inside. Know what I'm saying here? Granted there has to be some physical attraction but that isn't everything. My taste in men is changing but I'm finding that even men who aren't that Gerard are still self absorbed game players. I don't get it. I just don't get it. If someone could explain this to me I would be muchly beholdin'.

Popular posts from this blog

Well I got a couple more hours of sleep. I have the best kids. They let me sleep and didn't wake me up until my cell started ringing. We went out and about today. K wanted to try Bubble Tea so I obliged her. Mistake. It is not good by any stretch of the imagination. If you don't know what Bubble Tea is....g00gle it. Once you find out...don't try it. *shudder* An expensive taste test. There is a storm heading our way. Would you believe it's supposed to snow tonight??? Snow on Easter. How odd would that be? Speaking of Easter...my girls are watching TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network) and watching a childs version of The Passion. Even watching the crucifixtion of Christ as a cartoon it still brings tears to my eyes. I am so unworthy of what He went through for me. Well not just me but all of mankind. I saw The Passion last year and that is when I realized I needed to turn my life around. I was making a serious mess of things so I gave it all back to God. My life has had it...

love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...

What have I done?

I've been thinking about the things I've done in the last 20 years but, thanks to my memory, I need to make a list so I can actually see that my life wasn't completely horrible. Las Vegas 6 times Dallas for a girl's weekend Forks 4 times for girls' weekends Cruise to Alaska Cruise to Bermuda x 2 Cruise to Belize, Honduras, Mexico Road trip to South Dakota x 2 Southern California for a long weekend Nashville to judge a beauty pageant. Nascar races x 2 one being a Championship. Orlando Florida - Disneyworld and Universal Studios California - many times Leavenworth - many times Girls' weekends - many times I have more trips coming up with a cruise to Alaska and a cruise around Ireland. A weekend trip to Montana.  A girl's week to Vegas.  I'm sure there will be more to be planned. I became a Nana and will be a Nana x 2 this year.   I've been able to purchase 2 homes. Even though I have battled depression, I have had friends stand steadfast by my side and...