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I will one day find love again. I finally found my release...even though I've been saying it for the past year and 1/2. It's finally over. My heart finally got it's release this last weekend. I had to see it for myself. I couldn't accept it by friends and family telling me. Everything became crystal clear Monday night. As soon as plans were cancelled...yet again...it was like the light bulb went off and the love I was still holding onto disappeared. I now have hope. Hope of finding the love I deserve. A man who will think the world of me and will only have eyes for me. It's nice to finally be free. Free to move on and pursue things I never thought I could persue again. This is a good thing. :)

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love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...

What have I done?

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