Love, relationships and marriage. It's all a flipping game created just to mess with your heart and mind. Love does not exist. It's just a fantasy to give us delusions of grandeur. Relationships....well don't get me started on those. They are not a 50/50 thing. One party is the giver and one is the taker. Period. Compatibility? Give me a freaking break. People are not compatible. What it comes down to is one of the two in the relationship gives in and becomes who they aren't to make the relationship work. Marriage...well that is just a joke and what is the point? Why spend the thousands of $$$ for a wedding when the damn marriage will end? Save the money and go on vacation. At least you won't have any regrets. I have a damn wedding gown in my house that I wish to hell I knew what to do with it. I sit back and think..."Why in the hell did I buy all of this crap when the wedding was never going to take place to begin with???" I have the whole freaking wedding outfit!!! Am I ever going to wear it? Nope. Do I ever want to wear it? NO!!!!!!!!!! I want to burn the damn thing but it's too pretty for that. I've tried giving it away and can't find anyone to take it. I will try selling it in a yard sale but I'm sure it will still be around at the end of the day. Stupid ass wedding gown and veil...a total waste of money and time. Then again so is love, relationships and marriage. What made me think when I bought all of it that it wasn't going to be a waste of time? I really need to get out of fantasyland and forget all of the fairy tales and dreams. They do not live happily ever after. Cinderella still scrubs floors, cleans fireplaces, feeds the animals, cooks the meals and cleans the house. Prince Charming does nothing but go to work and come home wanting his dinner, his house clean and his wife "whore" in bed waiting for him looking every bit as sexy as he wants her to look. In the end...he still runs off with Barbie, Karen, Sue or Candy. If that is love...I'll pass.
There are days I enjoy living my life. There are days I thoroughly hate it. Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown. Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying. Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope. Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship. Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again. I've been told she has been married 4...