It has been a tough week for me. Even though it was short...still hard. Finding out about the death of my father really sucked. I've been on an emotional roller coaster all week and I'm thankful the week is over. I have finally come to the point where I am no longer in love with Darren and holding onto some hope of him being back in my life. I realized it on Monday night when he canceled getting together Memorial weekend. It's ok though. I truly believe that is what God's will was for the weekend. It was Him saying...ok Tracey...time to let go. Gosh He has been doing that a lot lately. LOL When Darren called and said he wouldn't be coming by it was like a huge weight was lifted off of my heart. I felt free...a feeling I hadn't felt in years. I know I've said it before but I think I was just saying the things I was so I wouldn't look like a total idiot for still loving him. Deep down, the love was still there and I had no clue how to let it go. Having the blinders taken off took it away and quickly. I don't hate Darren and we will still keep in touch but now I am not afraid to date or explore the possiblities of being in another relationship. Speaking of relationship...someone is coming to meet me on Sunday. I'm not jumping into anything but so far so good. I'll let ya'll know Sunday night. :)
There are days I enjoy living my life. There are days I thoroughly hate it. Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown. Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying. Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope. Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship. Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again. I've been told she has been married 4...