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Decisions and just what do I do?

Went to see the surgeon yesterday. Thankfully it was at the end of the day instead of the beginning. At least I got to enjoy the day before my mind became a mush pot. Lots of details, explanations and different routes to take with this surgery. Right now I'm so messed up in my head and overwhelmed with the decisions I need to make. Difficult decisions that I really wish I wasn't making on my own. I wish I had a husband to talk to. Even a boyfriend would be nice. Someone I could bounce thoughts off of and get his thoughts. I know that ultimately it's my decision but to have someone who loves me and is standing behind me in all that I do would be a great help. I have my friends and they have been amazing. I just hate burdening them with this crap when they have their own lives and issues to contend with. Mark with his damage from hurricane Ike for instance. That is a big thing for him. He doesn't need my whining when he has big stuff going on also.

Being a single mom isn't easy. Sometimes it flat out sucks. Being alone every night I go to bed? Difficult at best. Lonely as hell. There is only one silver lining at this point. I don't have cancer and this is a decision I don't need to make immediately. Maybe for now I just need to put it on the back burner and not think about it. At least for awhile...

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