Yesterday was a rough day. A lot of talking and crying. It breaks my heart to see my daughter in so much pain. What really cuts into my heart and soul is that I have caused part of her pain. I know that I have a lot of wrong things with her. Things that were done out of anger towards her father and his household. All I can do is apologize to her for those wrongs and I did do that yesterday. It was a difficult thing to admit to myself. I know I'm not a perfect mom and I will admit to my faults. To know that I am part to blame for how angry my daughter is just tears me up. My anger and frustration with her father should have never been put upon her shoulders. I feel so guilty and I need to find a way to work through that.
I'm calling to set up some counseling for her. At least she agreed to that. I was so thankful by the time the conversation was done. It was a civilized talk and no yelling. That is a first for us. Maybe we are both growing up and learning. It's going to be a difficult time in my home for awhile. I know that with a lot of work and even more understanding we can get through this.
There are days I enjoy living my life. There are days I thoroughly hate it. Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown. Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying. Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope. Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship. Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again. I've been told she has been married 4...