Sometimes the stars align just right and everything becomes just as it should. I've mentioned on here before that I have a brother. I found that out 3 years ago. Anyone who knows me knows that I am the Google queen and if it's to be found...I will find it. Sadly...I never found my brother. I accepted that I most likely never would.
Let's skip forward to January 12, 2010. I have no clue what made me think of Scott tonight but I felt that I needed to put another ad on Craigslist in the area I thought he would be. I went grocery shopping and thought nothing of it. I come home, put the groceries away, get dinner going and check my email. There was one from the ad. I didn't think much of it since people on CL like to play games and that is just what I thought this one would be. I was so wrong. After a few emails sent back and forth...I found my brother.
I've gone through phases in the last 2 hours. Doubt, speechless, shock, inability to breathe, acceptance. I'm still in a strange state of surreal-ness. It's weird. Little did I know that when I woke up this morning I would end my day chatting with my younger brother. A brother who didn't know I existed until tonight. I asked him if I looked like Gene. I just about hyperventilated when he said "Yes you do, Tracey". I swear...as long as I live I will never forget those words.
I will never have all of the pieces of my biological family put together. Gene, the man who helped create me, passed away before I ever started searching for my bio family. I will never know what kind of man he was. Did he think of me while I was growing up? Did he regret not keeping me? Did he love me even though I was not in his life? I'll never get answers to those questions. I feel at peace tonight. There isn't that huge gaping hole that I thought would never be filled. My heart is full. :)
Let's skip forward to January 12, 2010. I have no clue what made me think of Scott tonight but I felt that I needed to put another ad on Craigslist in the area I thought he would be. I went grocery shopping and thought nothing of it. I come home, put the groceries away, get dinner going and check my email. There was one from the ad. I didn't think much of it since people on CL like to play games and that is just what I thought this one would be. I was so wrong. After a few emails sent back and forth...I found my brother.
I've gone through phases in the last 2 hours. Doubt, speechless, shock, inability to breathe, acceptance. I'm still in a strange state of surreal-ness. It's weird. Little did I know that when I woke up this morning I would end my day chatting with my younger brother. A brother who didn't know I existed until tonight. I asked him if I looked like Gene. I just about hyperventilated when he said "Yes you do, Tracey". I swear...as long as I live I will never forget those words.
I will never have all of the pieces of my biological family put together. Gene, the man who helped create me, passed away before I ever started searching for my bio family. I will never know what kind of man he was. Did he think of me while I was growing up? Did he regret not keeping me? Did he love me even though I was not in his life? I'll never get answers to those questions. I feel at peace tonight. There isn't that huge gaping hole that I thought would never be filled. My heart is full. :)