The Great Twi-drought of 2010

You have got to be kidding me!!! The Twilight world is like the Mojave Desert in the middle of August. Dead and dry!!! There is absolutely nothing happening. David Slade released one official photo of Edward and Bella a million minutes ago. That's it. Everything we have seen from "Eclipse". Edward and Bella sitting in the meadow.

The agony, and it is agonizing not having anything new, can be seen everywhere. Pick a Twilight blog, gossip site, photo site. You will find nothing new. I know I'm not the only one feeling it. Last night the cruisers got an email update regarding our trip. We will be going to a Mariners game and the Mariners are having a Twilight theme that night. Tickets are $15 and we get a souvenir t-shirt. More Twilight shirts to add to my ever growing collection.

Twilight baseball is all we have right now and the cruisers are almost holding that news with a chokehold. It's the most excitement we have had since New Moon was released. That seems like it was so long ago when it was less than 2 months ago. We need something and soon. We need just smidgen of our drug to get us through to June. Please...*whimper*

Too much...

There are days I enjoy living my life. There are days I thoroughly hate it. Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown. Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying. Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope. Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship. Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again. I've been told she has been married 4...

2004 - 2023

Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back no matter how desperately I wish I could. Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a woman who struggles with ea...

People who say they love you...

Shouldn't be the very people who hurt you the most. For me, the worst damage comes from those who said they loved me and they were the people who destroyed me. And people wonder why I don't believe in love.

Life as I know it...

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