Skip to main content

So many thoughts...

It's coming up on tax time. I'm a bit weirded out about that. Usually it's a simple thing for me. Go online. Log in to the tax company I use. Do a lot of data entry. Tax refund deposited in my checking account in 10 days. Quite simple. This year? Not so much. I bought a house last year. I have deductions now. The first time homebuyers credit is weighing heavy on my mind. I know that I qualify but not sure how it works. I hate having to hire someone to do my taxes. Last time I did that the idiot fouled everything up and boy were my finances in a mess from it. I have a friend who is an accountant but not too sure I want someone digging around in my financial stuff who I know on a personal level. I'm sure he is good at what he does but still... Lots to think about and put together in the next couple of weeks. Once my taxes are filed I will feel much better.

That last sentence takes me to WHY I will feel better. Well..the refund of course. I will get things paid off. My cruise being one of them. I will be taking a couple of mini vacations this year thanks to my lovely refund. NYC in February and GWO in April. The big thing, other than the cruise, is the possiblity of buying a car. I told K that she would have a car when she turns 16 which just so happens to be this year. Thing is...do I want to let her drive my PT or do I want to find a cheap little car that is cute and in good shape and let her drive that? OR...do I want to find a cute car that is in good shape (think sporty here) and keep it for myself? I hate making decisions like that. Just stresses me out sometimes. I know that her SD won't help with buying her a car so this one is on me. The stepmonster already bitches about the fact they paid for her drivers ed class. Thing is...I would have paid for 1/2 of the class if the SD had waited until I got my tax refund but noooooo...he wanted to do it when HE wanted to do it. So...the SM can shut the hell up. Witch. Nah...feelings for that woman hasn't changed. I really don't see that ever happening. I will no longer have to deal with her in 3 years. That just sounds so nice!!! I don't mind talking to the SD. He and I have been getting along really well lately. It's refreshing actually. I haven't gotten along with him since K was 3 years old. Let's hope it lasts for at least 3 years. :)

Popular posts from this blog

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...

2004 - 2023

  Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back no matter how desperately I wish I could. Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a woman who struggles with ea...

People who say they love you...

Shouldn't be the very people who hurt you the most.  For me, the worst damage comes from those who said they loved me and they were the people who destroyed me.  And people wonder why I don't believe in love.