I am not a religious person and everyone who knows me knows this. I do not believe in organized religion and fully believe it is a man made concept that truly needs to be destroyed so God can be worshiped the way He wants to be. Not some idealized and bass ackwards way of thinking. I'm sorry but King James did not know what God wanted to say so who gave him the right to translate the bible into what he wanted? I do believe in God though and fully believe in heaven and hell. I firmly believe that 99% of the people who attend church are hypocrites. They preach and preach and preach but they do not in any way, shape or form live their words. I've seen it first hand. I'm not going to get into that though. What I am going to get into is how things happen for the good of a person's life.
There are times in life when a person thinks they are taking the right turn and making some wonderful choices for where they want the future to be. Let's call it "The Honeymoon Phase". All is well in the world...well from an outsiders perspective it is. Hmmm...something odd is happening but you just can't put your finger on what it is. You overlook what you perceive to be minor issues. Holy crow but that is your first mistake!!!
Minor issues soon start accumulating. Not at the speed of sound but slowly and surely. Those minor issues turn that wonderful honeymoon phase into the "Am I looking for things or did that just really happen" phase. You can't ignore the problems. They are real. They are ugly and they love to mock you. "Ha ha...now whatcha gonna do? I'm here and you can't do anything about it!". You feel defeated. You know that the right turn you took was in fact a left. How could that have happened? You were so sure. What you were sure of was the little layer that you were allowed to see. Not the deeper recesses of what would eventually become your own personal hell.
Living in hell is not where people want to be. They want to be in the light. They want to be happy and live life to it's fullest. Once you realize that what you see is in fact...what you are seeing. Not a figment of your imagination. Those little flags that were waving at you in the beginning....those little red ones? They are now HUGE and you are having to face the grim reality of where your life is. You are now in "Great! Now how do I get out of this without hurting those who matter the most?" phase. It is up to you to fix what you broke. Sure there was another party assisting in damaging of your life but ultimately it falls on you. You were the final voice in saying "Should I go right or should I go left?". Don't beat yourself up over this though. That other party was quite convincing and played the game well. You just need to see that party for who and what they are.
Moving on with life will not be easy once you realize that you went oh so far off the road you should have taken. You are now in the "Well that sucked." phase. What do you do now? Well you go through the "Will I ever stop crying?" to "I hate you...you son of a bitch!!!" to "How could you have done that to me?" to "What the hell was I thinking" to "Thank you for breaking my heart" to "You may have broken my heart but you did not break me". It's a rough road to crawl. It will be a crawl. No chance you can walk or sprint through this one. The damage is deep and it is real. More real than you ever thought possible.
Life gives us choices. Take the right or take the left. It is up to us to determine which to choose. Which will be better for us. But...and this is a good one...regardless of which direction you go...you can always, always find the good within. It may take awhile but the positive will always show it's beautiful face to you. My positive showed it's amazing and glorious face to me recently. I am a blessed woman and I cannot thank God enough for what He did for me. He allowed me to be hurt because I was not the woman I was supposed to be yet. The hurt I went through was necessary to bring me to where I am now. I hated going through it. I hated every last minute of it. I wouldn't trade it though. I love who I am now. I love the woman I have become. I am this woman because of the other party. I am strong. I am independent. I am beautiful inside and out. Would I ever thank the other party? No. He does not deserve thanks. Thanks belongs to who guided me through the damage.
There are times in life when a person thinks they are taking the right turn and making some wonderful choices for where they want the future to be. Let's call it "The Honeymoon Phase". All is well in the world...well from an outsiders perspective it is. Hmmm...something odd is happening but you just can't put your finger on what it is. You overlook what you perceive to be minor issues. Holy crow but that is your first mistake!!!
Minor issues soon start accumulating. Not at the speed of sound but slowly and surely. Those minor issues turn that wonderful honeymoon phase into the "Am I looking for things or did that just really happen" phase. You can't ignore the problems. They are real. They are ugly and they love to mock you. "Ha ha...now whatcha gonna do? I'm here and you can't do anything about it!". You feel defeated. You know that the right turn you took was in fact a left. How could that have happened? You were so sure. What you were sure of was the little layer that you were allowed to see. Not the deeper recesses of what would eventually become your own personal hell.
Living in hell is not where people want to be. They want to be in the light. They want to be happy and live life to it's fullest. Once you realize that what you see is in fact...what you are seeing. Not a figment of your imagination. Those little flags that were waving at you in the beginning....those little red ones? They are now HUGE and you are having to face the grim reality of where your life is. You are now in "Great! Now how do I get out of this without hurting those who matter the most?" phase. It is up to you to fix what you broke. Sure there was another party assisting in damaging of your life but ultimately it falls on you. You were the final voice in saying "Should I go right or should I go left?". Don't beat yourself up over this though. That other party was quite convincing and played the game well. You just need to see that party for who and what they are.
Moving on with life will not be easy once you realize that you went oh so far off the road you should have taken. You are now in the "Well that sucked." phase. What do you do now? Well you go through the "Will I ever stop crying?" to "I hate you...you son of a bitch!!!" to "How could you have done that to me?" to "What the hell was I thinking" to "Thank you for breaking my heart" to "You may have broken my heart but you did not break me". It's a rough road to crawl. It will be a crawl. No chance you can walk or sprint through this one. The damage is deep and it is real. More real than you ever thought possible.
Life gives us choices. Take the right or take the left. It is up to us to determine which to choose. Which will be better for us. But...and this is a good one...regardless of which direction you go...you can always, always find the good within. It may take awhile but the positive will always show it's beautiful face to you. My positive showed it's amazing and glorious face to me recently. I am a blessed woman and I cannot thank God enough for what He did for me. He allowed me to be hurt because I was not the woman I was supposed to be yet. The hurt I went through was necessary to bring me to where I am now. I hated going through it. I hated every last minute of it. I wouldn't trade it though. I love who I am now. I love the woman I have become. I am this woman because of the other party. I am strong. I am independent. I am beautiful inside and out. Would I ever thank the other party? No. He does not deserve thanks. Thanks belongs to who guided me through the damage.