Skip to main content
It has been a good day. Surprising since I had both boobs compressed to about an inch thick. I truly feel that every man needs to have this test done. If not on their breast then on their Mr. Winkie. They may have a new found respect for what women go through.

The mammogram...well it sucked. As we all know the lump is in the left breast. Can you say that compressing it brought tears to my eyes? I can honestly say that it hurt like hell. While I was there the radiologist felt that it would behoove me to have the right one checked also. You've compressed one very tender boob into a shape it was never meant to be and now you want to do the other one??? Oh sure...why not? I have nothing better to do. Once all of the miniaturizing and compressing of my boobs was done I was sent to ultrasound. I knew that this wasn't going to hurt since I've had ultrasounds before. WRONG!!!!!!! Pressing on said painful boob again with a little wand thing with warmed up KY Gel again made me cringe and want to shove the little wand thing up someones hiney. She did apologize and being the polite person I am I said "Oh..it's ok". After all of this poking and prodding was done I was told the results. They did not see any cancerous tumors in my breast. This makes me very happy. I'm not gonna die!!! Well..not at least anytime soon. Isn't that great news??? I still have the pains though. My left arm and hand go numb. I called and spoke with my dad tonight and he has come to the same conclusion I have. A blocked artery. This my dear friends isn't very comforting. Arteries lead to the heart. *sigh* So...I will be calling to get an appointment set up and see what can be found out. A blocked artery. Just what I need.
K called me about an hour after my appointment asking how I was. When I told her that they didn't see any cancer she was elated. My little girl just loves me. Whenever I am sick she is right there taking care of me. When I had my hysterectomy 3 years ago she couldn't focus in school while I was in surgery and when I got home she was there for me all the time asking if I needed anything and what could she do for me. I am so blessed to have her as my daughter.
After the good news of not seeing the BIG C....I went to the mall and made a beeline for Bath & Body Works. I love their sweet pea fragrance. I needed some shower gel and while walking around I found the facial cleanser I used years ago. It's called Rice. I highly recommend it. Especially if you have combination skin. It's amazing stuff. I did go to Claire's with J and got a couple of things. After the mall it was straight to my favorite fast food place. Dusty's. OMGosh!!! I love their burgers!!! If you are ever in Wenatchee, WA....stop at Dusty's. You won't regret it.
So there you have it...I don't have cancer. Still not sure what is wrong but I do feel better about ruling out the big C.

Popular posts from this blog

love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...

A lifetime

 I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember.  I honestly don't remember a time when I thought I was worth loving or even being allowed to live.  I've been suicidal, I've had a catatonic moment, I've been severely depressed.  In essence, I've been a mental mess.  I didn't know why.  I just was.  Doctors put me on medication but they barely touched my illness.  The demons were still there.  When I went off of the medication, those voices were loud and strong.   They controlled me.  The problem was...I didn't mind it.  It was a comfort for me.  It was my safe space.  I embraced their words. I know that sounds twisted but mental illness doesn't make sense. One year ago I decided I had enough.  I wanted to be happy.  I wanted to live my life, not just exist in it.  I went back on medication.  It helped...for a while.  Then those voices started coming back.  "You aren't worth i...