Skip to main content
The mind boggles at kids today. The lack of respect for others just blows my mind. Today I was pulling into the park where I live and there were kids in the middle of the road. All of them got out of the way but there was a child in a wagon who gave me an ugly look and stuck her tongue out at me. HUH??? What the frick was the point in that? Then I remembered who the child was. Good grief...nothing will ever change will it?
Today was hotter than hades and tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter. I'm sorry but when it gets into the triple digits....DO NOT TELL US HOW FRICKING HOT IT IS!!!! We already know it's hot. Don't make it worse by playing with our heads. Poor Punkin...K's rabbit...was just dying. I brought her inside and let her stay in the house in my bedroom...which is the coolest room in the house. Poor thing. Nothing like wearing a fur coat in 107 degree weather. Her poor little ears were just burning. I'll do the same thing for her tomorrow. I am taking the girls to summer camp so the bunny will need to be cool.

I did some school shopping today. I know...it's only July but when you find great looking clothes at a very reasonable price...you buy them. I went to my favorite thrift store "The Lighthouse" and one of the women who works there told me about some kids clothes she just put out. She even stopped what she was doing and took me to where she hung them. Did I get some great outfits!!!! K got 2 and J got 3. For how much you ask? I shall tell you...$10.00 for all of it. Thank you...thank you...I know...I'm that good. :) When you are a single mom of two daughters you need to save wherever you can. I need to get a couple more pairs of jeans for each girl and then the basics. After that....I'M DONE!!! Love getting it out of the way.

Tomorrow is the beginning of me being kidless for the second time this summer. It's going to be too fricking hot to do anything. I will be having lunch with a friend tomorrow so that is a good thing. To be perfectly honest...I want K home!!! I miss her so much I can't stand it. It's like a part of me is missing and I need it to feel whole again. Yes....I am very dependent on my children. Not quite sure how to get past that. I will need to though. They are going to grow up and have lives of their own. They won't want mama hanging around. LOL There is someone who has been emailing me for close to a year now and there is the possiblity of something there. We shall see. I'm not jumping into anything. One day at a time with no expectations. :)

Popular posts from this blog

love

It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did.  To find out the things he does now for his wife?  The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me.  Knowing all of this has made me hate him.  I know it does nothing to him.  It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years.  I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being.    When I met him, I was in a good place.  I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love.  In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me.  I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was.  Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...
Read more

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...
Read more

A lifetime

 I have been mentally ill for as long as I can remember.  I honestly don't remember a time when I thought I was worth loving or even being allowed to live.  I've been suicidal, I've had a catatonic moment, I've been severely depressed.  In essence, I've been a mental mess.  I didn't know why.  I just was.  Doctors put me on medication but they barely touched my illness.  The demons were still there.  When I went off of the medication, those voices were loud and strong.   They controlled me.  The problem was...I didn't mind it.  It was a comfort for me.  It was my safe space.  I embraced their words. I know that sounds twisted but mental illness doesn't make sense. One year ago I decided I had enough.  I wanted to be happy.  I wanted to live my life, not just exist in it.  I went back on medication.  It helped...for a while.  Then those voices started coming back.  "You aren't worth i...
Read more