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Losing

 I'm losing weight.  People all but chew me out for it saying I don't need to but ya know what?  Losing weight is the one and only thing in my life I can control   I think the Vid bug helped because it's taken away my taste and sense of smell.  I hate eating now so I eat just enough to keep me from getting shaky and dizzy.  That's a positive.  I had the bug back in August and I was starting to push a size 10 again.  Now?  I can happily state that I'm back down to an 8.  My goal, is a 4.  I wouldn't mind a 2 but I think that's pushing it.  I have to be thin.  Not that I will ever see myself as thin.  I look in the mirror and see nothing but an ugly pig.  I still see the fat unattractive human I was told I was.  I don't think that will ever change but as long as I can see my pant size is small...that gets me through.  As for my looks?  I can't do anything about that.  I'll always see a very unattractive woman looking back at me.



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