It boggles the mind how rude children can be. I mean come on...pushing another child out of the way just so they can walk in front of them? That happened to J today. I tried to find the logic behind the rudeness. I found none. Yesterday another child...same family...spit at K and then when I was driving out of the park he spit at my car. I've been told by more than one person that a child's behaviour is a reflection of the parent. Why does this not surprise me?
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...