Sabrina and I had a conversation today that caused me to look at things a different way. Things that have been haunting me for a very long time. Because of this conversation I have sent out some emails to a few of you requesting your support for me and my goal. I wish I could have added a couple more emails but I was only allowed 8. Laine and SoulSearching are the two I wanted to add. So Laine and SoulSearching...please comment here with your email addy's so I can email you and let you know what is going on. It's a good thing. It's strange how we come to depend on our "blog" friends. Funny thing this internet. Can be used in such wicked ways but yet it brings people into our lives that we may never have met without it. I have amazing friends in my life. That is why I have chosen the women I did for my support system. I know they will have my back with this. I admire each and everyone of them. A person would be blessed to have just one of them as a friend. I have all 10 of them!!! That would make me super mondo blessed. Indeed I am...:)
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...