Life as I know it...

I found something this morning that may be a bit of a problem. My clothes are getting too big. Normally this should not be an issue. I'm happy being at a size 8. Could use some toning but I look good in general. The problem is...I look awful as a size 6 and don't get me started on how horrible I look at a size 4. I was there a year and 1/2 ago and I looked sick. I try to eat. Honest...I do. I'm just finding that eating is not high on my list of things to do. When I do sit down for a meal I don't eat all of it. I will have maybe 1/2 of it and then I'm done. I can sit down and drink my diet P*psi's without problem. It's getting food into me that is the problem. It is 1:00 and I haven't even eaten lunch yet. I'm a tad hungry but the thought of food makes me nauseous. I would love to have a King's Row Special which is a jr. burger, fries and soda. The sheer thought of eating it? Not a good thing. K has even said things to me like "Mom...you really need to start eating" I look in the mirror and still see the size 10/12 I was. I didn't like seeing me that size. I'm not anorexic. I do eat. I don't throw it up. I just still see "chubby woman" when I look in the mirror. I"m beginning to think that this is not a good thing. How do I fix it though...? Why don't I want to eat? Why do I still see a fat woman looking at me in the mirror? :(

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