People are giving up on me. I can't blame them. I would give up on myself if I could. Darkness seems like it just gets worse with each day. I can't find a way to smile and very few things bring a smile to my face. I can't even find a smile when I'm with my grandson.
I can tell, when people talk to me, that they are just fed up with me. I get snarky comments, snarky responses to my questions. I don't know how to deal with it anymore.
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...