I learn more and more each day just how little I'm thought of. I'm 54 years old...almost 55. I own a home. I've been on my own for decades. I do believe I can take care of myself and function as an adult. Apparently, I have friends who believe otherwise. I have family who believes otherwise. I'm told to make sure clothes are completely dry before taking them out of the dryer. I'm told how to do dishes. I'm told how to cook. I'm told how to clean. I'm told to call a contractor because there is a leak in my kitchen. I'm told I'm told I'm told. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS SACRED!!!! I am NOT stupid. I am not lacking in brain cells. I still have all of my faculties but yet I'm considered special needs by those who say they love me.
I want to get one thing clear...yes, I'm losing my memory and it does take me a bit more time to do something but I can still remember how to care for my home and get things done. Guess what? We just had a major snowstorm and there is a lot of heavy snow on my roof. I'm going to get a snow rake to remove it because I don't want a disaster with a roof collapsing. Gee...how did I ever think of that on my own without someone telling me to do it? Seeing how I'm special needs and all.
And people wonder why I stick to myself....
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...