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It's interesting

 To see how people are full on gung ho in support of you when you are in a great place, have wonderful things happening, showing vacation photos but the moment darkness descends...those people are gone.  They ghost you and you are left alone.  When you need support the most, it is not there.  Truthfully, in that darkness, a person may not be looking for advice or even words.  They just need someone's presence and compassion.  Nothing more.   In that darkness, they don't see light.  They see nothing but pain and wanting it to end. 


I have no friends who understand.  I'm just their token "fucked up" friend.   I'm preached at, told how to do things,  just take things one day at a time.   How do they propose I do that when every damned day I resent waking up?  They don't get it.  They have no compassion.  Just let it go they say.   Sure.  Let it go. If it was that easy,  I would have done that years ago and not be the joke I am today.   I have absolutely no one and I'm not sure if that makes me worse or relieved.

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