Skip to main content

Bad mom

I was a bad mom. I did the best I could but my best, now that I look back, wasn't my best. Why was I a bad mom? Because I did not have a good role model to teach me how to parent. I had a mother who didn't hug me, a mother who took every chance she could to yell at me, to belittle me, to demean me (put lipstick on, you look sick...and I still do this to this day with her voice in my head), she never gave me credit for anything I DID do that was positive, always put me on the backburner, everyone else came first and I was an afterthought or mistake. As a mom...I did almost everything she did. I failed just as she failed. However, I did something that she has never done. I realized that I was not a good mom, I apologized to my children,

I own my failures, I am trying to learn from my mistakes. I failed my children when they were growing up. I am going to do my best to not fail them as adults. Sadly...I didn't fall short. I failed. I've chatted with both of my girls and it was a tough conversation hearing where I missed the mark as their mom. Seeing that I did what my own mother did. Realizing that I was not a good mom to my children has been difficult to own up to. My oldest told me "Mom...you don't know what you don't know. You can't do better if you don't know better" I wasn't taught to parent. My kids did not have a great childhood and having to own that is one of the toughest crosses I have to bear. My kids have forgiven me. Now I have to forgive myself.

Popular posts from this blog

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...

2004 - 2023

  Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back no matter how desperately I wish I could. Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a woman who struggles with ea...

People who say they love you...

Shouldn't be the very people who hurt you the most.  For me, the worst damage comes from those who said they loved me and they were the people who destroyed me.  And people wonder why I don't believe in love.