It's official. I'm allergic to dungeness crab. I have one word for that...DAMN!!!!!!! I love dungeness. I've tried it twice in the past and have gotten sick after it. Today the girls and I went grocery shopping and they were handing out samples of the store soup. It was soooo good. Then I had the bright idea of looking at the ingredients. Can you say I am not a happy person? At least I can still eat snow crab. Aside from my crab issues...it was a good weekend. Margaret and Tina came over. All of us met up at Liz's and we had a nice visit for 4 hours. Margaret and I went for a little drive to look at where I'm praying God will let me and the girls move to. She thought it held potential. We shall see what happens. Like I said...it's all in God's hands now. If this is where He wants me to be...He will make a way for it to happen. It would be totally cool if he does. The kids thought it was great and K said would like living there. Time for me to go lay down and let the dungeness kill me. Ok...not kill me but make me wish it would. *sigh*
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...