My day ended as well as it started. We had dinner at Appleb*e's and even though the service sucked...the company and the Perfect Margarita were great. We didn't go dancing though. All of us ended up at a sports bar here in town. I really wasn't in much of a dancing mood so this was perfect. A couple of my friends gave me some really nice silver earrings with a blue stone it them. Can't quite figure out what the stone is but they are gorgeous. Since it was April Fool's day...I did get my "gag" gift. Victor...a guy I have known for pretty much my whole life (33 years)...had a crush on me in 1st grade and being the ingenious 6 year old he was...he gave me a toilet paper tube with the ends wrapped up. Inside that tube was a nice healthy worm. LOL Well not to be one to sit on his laurels...he gave me a bag of worms last night only they were gummy worms. He said he wanted to put them in a toilet paper tube but couldn't find an empty one. LOL So I ate gummy worms and drank C*rona last night. Not too many though. I only had 2. I was a good girl. All in all my birthday was great. I'm actually excited about my 40th....I think. ;)
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...