Finally!!! Nilla has had her kittens. Five of them...:) First one born? A black one with white around it's eyes. POTO!!! LOL How totally cool is that? The other 4 are little orange tabbies. The runt was struggling when it was born. Nilla wouldn't clean it off. I broke the membrane that was around it's little face but it was still not breathing very well. After a tense few moments...little Daniel is alive and nursing like a happy little kitten. The girls named him after Daniel in the lions den. Both are survivors. It has been a long evening. She went into labor around 4:30 and all was said and done somewhere around 7:15. I'm exhausted!!! Not as much as Nilla but still tired. The girls have already named the kittens...which will make it that much harder to get rid of them. LOL We have: POTO (not getting rid of), Daniel, Stripe-o (has really cool striped markings), Fuzzy and Dot (polka dotted...it's so cute). It is now 9:00pm and I'm actually ready for bed. Shocking...
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...