What a day. Work was just insane and I'm glad it's over. It was a gorgeous afternoon so I spent some time working out in my yard. I have yet to figure out what my mom was thinking when she planted the things she did. *shudder* Not one bit of it makes sense. There used to be a rather large tree in the yard but 1/2 of it was diseased so my parents cut it down years ago. For some reason they chose to not take the root system out. Do you know what root systems do when the tree is gone? They still wiggle around and make your yard wavy. Can you say it's a pain in the butt to work with? Mom had put up some funky birdhouse looking thing right in the middle of this square patch of dirt and planted things that made no sense. Well...I decided the birdhouse thingy had to go. Seeing how it looked like it was down in the ground pretty far I gave it a nice healthy strong shove. That was a mistake. It wasn't down in the ground very far and I came really close to doing a face plant right in the flower bed. If someone had been videotaping it...I would be $10,000 richer. You are just picturing this aren't you and chuckling quite loudly...I know you are. LOL I have to admit...the pathetic mess of a flower bed is looking much better with just the little bit I did today. My parents left an old park bench here when they moved. I'm going to stain it and put it in the little spot of dirt in the middle of my yard. I'll buy some stepping stones and plant my wonderful petunias. Out of ugly comes beauty and grace. Just going to take some back breaking work to get it there. I love this stuff though...:) I did buy a gorgeous wrought iron gazebo that will be set up in the next few weeks. I have a cute little bistro set which will sit in the gazebo. I have some really cool looking outdoor lights in the shape of lanterns that will be hung on my porch. Need light while I'm grilling on my new grill ya know. ;) Slowly but surely it's all coming together. I'll get it all together and then I'll end up moving and starting all over again...I know that is what will happen. But...that's the fun part. Right? Nod your head and say "Yes Tracey...you are so very right". ;) Margaret gave me a pack of sweet pea seeds and I can't wait to plant those. They smell sooooo good!!!! I also have some daisy seeds that must be planted. They are my favorite flower...did you know that? Well now you do. :) I'm still on the hunt for a house. I'm not giving up that quest but in the meantime...I will do what I do best...interior decorating and planting flowers. Great therapy. Cheap too....:) This weekend some of my friends are coming over for a slumber party/going out dancing kind of thing. Not too sure how much gardening I will get done but hopefully I will get a little bit taken care of. I want a nice yard this year and I will have it even if it kills me. :)
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...