Well if that doesn't tick me off!!! I went to go play with my new iP0d yesterday and I can't download anything until I upgrade my stupid computer. I need to have Wind0ws 2000 or XP. I have the dinosaur 98. Grrrr....I so totally could have used it while working in the yard yesterday. When K found out I have an iP0d now...she wasn't happy. I'm sure she will get over it. ;) I've been doing some pondering lately. I wonder why we as a society let our bodies go to hell in a handbasket when we are in a relationship...whether it's being married, engaged or dating? Everyone does it. Even I have done it. While I was with Darren I went from a size 8 to a 10...of course the stupid estrogen helped with that. Just because we have found the person we want to spend time with or the rest of our lives with doesn't mean we can just forget how we look to them. I know we are supposed to be loved for who we are inside but we also need to take care of the outside. If not...the person we thought we were going to be with forever will end up searching outside of the relationship for the satisfaction they got when they first met us. Men are visual creatures and if they aren't turned on by the outside they certainly aren't going to say "Oh but she has a great personality..." I just see it all the time and it's sad. To see how a person goes from taking really good care of themselves to looking like they don't care anymore. We may be comfortable where we are and who we are with but don't take them for granted. I know I did that with Darren. Thank goodness I'm out of that phase. :) It's always hair done and makeup on for me...no matter what. Ok...when I am working in the yard it's not. Cut me some slack ok? Sheesh...LOL
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...