Skip to main content

Well this sucks!!! *stealing a phrase from the penguins in Madagascar* It is almost 11:30pm and who is still awake? ME!!!!!!!! Care to guess why? Yep...I didn't have my pineapple drinky poo. Either that or I didn't work in my yard enough. Maybe a little bit of both. ;)
Ya know there are days when I really want to post about something really good happening in my life but I'm terrified that once I do...it will go away. Let's just say that I had given up hope of there being any decent Christian men out there...trust me when I say that even Christian men can be schmucks and a$$es just like non-Christians...sometimes they are worse!!! My hope is slowly being restored. Just when you think God has given up on you or turned His back...He smiles down on you. Makes me feel awful for being...well I don't know what I was being but I didn't like it. Icky feeling lingered for awhile. Icky feeling is going away.
Just like the thing with Darren this week. God knew I couldn't handle the truth 2 years ago. Why He chose now I'm not too sure. Maybe because He knows I'm strong enough and can deal with it better than I could have then. It's wierd not thinking of Darren as someone I used to love. He is more like an accquaintance. I certainly never thought I would feel that way about him. It felt like I was finally released the other night. Now I can truly find someone...or maybe I already have. ;) You just never know...well maybe I do and I'm not telling. *sticking my tongue out* Don't you love it when I do that, Sabrina? *waiting for the email from her to say "OK...SPILL IT!!!"* I know her too well. LOL
All of the nonsense with Kim no longer bothers me. The sheer absurdity of it causes no concern for me. There is a concern right now but I will post more about that later. Actually it will be posted in my venting blog...if you wish to read it....just let me know. :)

Popular posts from this blog

Too much...

 There are days I enjoy living my life.  There are days I thoroughly hate it.  Yesterday, while grocery shopping, I almost had a breakdown.  Standing there in the aisle, I had to fight, with everything in me, to not start crying.   Too much has been hitting me this month and I think I'm at the end of my rope.   Beginning of the month, D's new wife sent me a text telling me to lose his number, email and address because I already had my chance with him. I laughed at the absurdity of everything she said in that text as it sounded like something a teenaged girl would write. I haven't wanted that man in almost 20 years, so, she is either highly jealous of his past and any woman he used to be interested in or is extremely insecure with herself and her relationship.  Regardless of her mental state, I told her I was just catching up on life with him, but I will respect her request and not talk to him again.  I've been told she has been married 4...

2004 - 2023

  Twenty years ago, I was a mess. I was belittled and demeaned to the point where I hated myself and would have done anything to hurt those who hurt me. From family to friends to men. I lashed out, created more drama than was necessary and didn't care who I hurt. As long as they were hurt before they hurt me, I justified my words and actions. If someone DID hurt me? God help them. I held nothing back. I'm not proud of who I was. I am ashamed of who I was. I did things I should have never done, and I cannot take any of it back no matter how desperately I wish I could. Today, in 2023, I am someone completely different than who that woman was in 2004. I'm not the unmedicated mentally ill person anymore. I'm getting healthy not only mentally but physically. I'm more successful than I was told I would ever be. I'm not the loser bitch that I was told I was. I'm a good person with an "I have gone through hell" history. I am a woman who struggles with ea...

People who say they love you...

Shouldn't be the very people who hurt you the most.  For me, the worst damage comes from those who said they loved me and they were the people who destroyed me.  And people wonder why I don't believe in love.