Ok...I'm feeling a bit better. A tad tired but other than that the dizziness and headache has gone away. Guess I won't be buying that soup anytime soon. Did some yardwork today. Didn't do a lot because as you know...I wasn't feeling all that swell...but I digress. I believe I am in need of a rototiller. The root system from the plants that made no sense is intense and there is zero chance of me getting all of them and there is no way new plants that MAKE sense would be able to take root. When I plant my flowers I want pretty dirt. Not the crappy stuff that is there now. I'm one of those odd people who likes clean dirt. LOL I am feeling the need to put my gazebo up this week. We shall see how ambitious I will be. If it's nice out...I'll do it. If it sucks...I won't. Simple plan dontcha think? My yard is going to be so perty when it's done. Tell me...are yards ever really done? I think tonight will be a reading type of night. I've been reading "Phantom" by Susan Kay. I know...hush. It's a great book though. She took Gaston Leroux's book a step further and gave Erik...he is the Phantom...a history. She starts it at his birth up to his time at the Opera house. It's a great read and one of those books I don't want to end. I love those type of books. You get so engrossed in the story that you become a part of it...from an outsiders point of view. Yes...I'm a reader. Always have been...always will be. Tomorrow is Monday. Did I ever mention that I hate Monday's?
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...