I'm so tired!!! I woke up around 4:45am to go potty...as we all do during the night. I went to check on Nilla and the kittens....Nilla was missing and so was Daniel. My first thought was "Daniel died!!!" I couldn't find Nilla anywhere but...being the wise person I am...I have taught my girls to always close their bedroom doors. She couldn't have been in too many places because of that. First place I looked...under the couch. Found her!!! She had taken Daniel out of the box and had him under the couch. She was on her way to go get another kitten when I stopped her. I have since figured out that she wants to be under the couch come hell or high water. Nothing I have done has detered her. So right now Nilla is under my couch nursing Poto. The other kittens? Still in the box. I'm not sure the reasoning behind this but you can't fight a cat when it's determined to do what it wants to do. We will keep an eye on them today so everything should be fine. For now...I'm needing a couple more hours sleep. Getting up early on a Saturday...JUST WRONG!!! *yawn*
It's a struggle knowing he didn't love me and never did. To find out the things he does now for his wife? The woman who is bigger than I ever was, the woman who has been married multiple times, the woman who is tatted up and he hated tats, the woman who shows jealousy, the woman he won't keep secrets from but kept them from me, the woman who is everything he said he hated in me. Knowing all of this has made me hate him. I know it does nothing to him. It will only eat away at me but that has been happening to me for almost 20 years. I can only now admit that I hate this man with every fiber of my being. When I met him, I was in a good place. I was happy with myself, I had friends, I loved sex and I believed in love. In the almost 2 years I was with him, he destroyed every last bit of me. I know it was only 2 years but in 2 years, he obliterated every bit of who I was. Not a day went by where he didn't mentally or em...